Today was a sad, sad day for our family. Our sweet Shadow has been quite a picky eater the last several weeks, and I kept trying to find the food that he would eat enough of to fill out his bony body. But, ... yesterday he didn't eat anything at all... and he had a lot of trouble balancing. Allen was out of town the last two days and I told him Shadow wasn't doing well. Last night, I had to carry him to get outside, and even that didn't work. I put his cozy bed in the bathroom with a bunch of waterproof mats under him, and I checked on him several times through the night.
This morning, I put his bed in the sunbeam where he loves to sleep while we were all around him doing our school day and cuddling our 16-year old pup. Around lunchtime, his heart started racing, so I held him and we eventually called Allen. Shadow got to hear all six of us tell him how much we loved him, and I held him until he breathed his last breath; the younger kids and I wailed and Will went to his room to be alone.
When the kitties passed a year ago, I was really worried about how the kids would react...how I would do without my Shadow, named so because he followed me everywhere. When I decided in November to go to Uganda at the end of March, I had a feeling that IF Shadow was still alive when I left, he might die of loneliness while I was gone. All along, I've been sadly hoping that wouldn't happen, but our old dog was aging fast. My heart hurts a lot now, but I am really glad he was not alone when he left. I don't know if we will ever get another dog again, but Shadow sure was an awesome dog!
I adopted the gently, leggy pound puppy in June 2000 -- the summer we lived in a non-air-conditioned home in Canyon. Allen spent the weeks at an internship in Albuquerque, and I didn't like being alone in the house with the windows open at night. I tried convincing Allen I needed a dog; he tried convincing me I needed an air-conditioner. By September, we had an AC, too. When I was pregnant with Will, in June 2003, Shadow fell from a third-story window at our home in Kansas. I raced to him and saw him trying to run with floppy legs, and I was afraid the vet would want to put him to sleep. Turns out, he just needed legs of steel -- after a couple surgeries, and daily, then weekly, vet visits our gentle pooch had legs that were almost as good as new (until it was really cold outside.) Shadow loved playing in the snow! Even when his legs were sensitive to the cold, he would chase snow balls and use his nose as a shovel, throw the snow in the air, and try to catch it in his mouth. Shadow was so sweet with the kids -- first with Will, then with Maddie, Ben, and Jon. I remember his confusion when he greeted Maddie...but then heard Ben in another crib. He ran to Ben's crib and saw a baby, but then bounced back to see her in my arms. The poor dog was nearly dizzy with the back-and-forth questions when Jon finally got home, too. When I was away having dinner with friends, Shadow waited for me next to the front door. When I was up later than normal -- watching a movie, crafting, visiting -- he would stare at me because HE was ready for bed, but I wasn't in my room yet. He would sometimes sigh impatiently until I walked him to his bed and he would lie on his pillow next to my bed. But when I'd leave the room, he would follow me...again. I love that silly dog so much and he will really be missed.
