Turning the Pages: 2019

1. A Painted House (John Grisham)
2. Upshift (Chad Albury)
3. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)*
4. Dracula (Bram Stoker)
5. Jesus of Arabia: Christ Through Middle Eastern Eyes (Andrew Thompson)
6. Everybody Always (Bob Goff)*
7. The Storyteller's Secret: A Novel (Sejal Badani)
8. Educated: A Memoir (Tara Westover)*
9. Daily Painting (Carol ____)
10. Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women (Geraldine Brooks)
11. Green Leaf in Drought (Isabel Kuhn)*
12. Hawaii (James Michener)
13. Beneath a Scarlet Sky (Mark Sullivan)
14. Once Gone (Blake Pierce)
15. The Forgotten Hours (Katrin Schumann)
16. The Mask Collectors (Ruvanee Pietersz Vilhauer)
17. Where the Forest Meets the Stars (Glendy Vander)
18. One For Sorrow (Sarah A. Denzel)
19.Cold-Case Christianity (J. Warner Wallace)
20. The Culture Map: Decoding How People Think, Lead, and Get Things Done Across Cultures (Erin Meyer)

(missing part of my list for late spring, but began the list again in July)

21. The Invisible Man (Wells)

22. The Strange Case of Jekyll & Hyde (Stevenson)

23. Bombshell (Hutchings)

24. The Fault in Our Stars (Green)

25. The Birds (du Maurier)

26. The Secrets of Lost Stones (Payne)

27. This is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are (Warni)

28. Carnegie's Maid (Benedict)

29. The Next Right Thing (Freeman)

30. The Dressmaker's Gift (Valpy)

31. The Woman Who Smashed Codes: A True Story of Love, Spies, and the Unlikely Heroine Who Outwitted America's Enemies (Fagone)

32. Sail (Patterson and Roughan)

33. The Cuckoo's Calling (Rowling)

34. Beneath a Scarlet Sky (Sullivan)

35. Along the Broken Bay (Solomon)

36. Rituals of the Dead (Alderson)

37. Odds On (Lange/Crichton)

38. Pretty Little Girls (Ruff)

39. The Housewife Assassin: Killer Christmas Tips (Brown)

A New Year

Am I allowed to be glad that 2018 is done? My theme for 2018 was prayerfully selected before the year began, but I had no idea the pain that would come with "Let go." As we began the year, we suspected we would be moving, and we even knew we were likely going to Saudi Arabia, so I naively thought I was preparing myself to

• let go of stuff as we prepared for a big move, 
• let go of responsibilities I had with scouts and extracurricular activities, 
• let go of junk mail and email, and
• let go of unhealthy relationships. 

I did all that, and it may have been easier since I was being intentional about letting go, but...it broke my heart to

• let go of Allen as he worked out of town a LOT beginning in January,
• let go of our kitty who died when we were out of town in March,
• let go of stuff when our home flooded in June,
• let go of Dad when he died in July,
• let go of Ben when he went to school (not homeschool) in August,
• let go of so much of how I recently defined ME as I resigned from a very active teaching role with homeschooling, scout roles, church roles, teaching speech and debate, and serving on the scholarship committee by the end of September,
• let go of Mom, family, and friends when we left Texas and moved to Saudi in October,
• let go of homeschooling when the kids began school in November,
• let go of small traditions when I couldn't find recipe ingredients or gifts for the kids in December.

I really want to say I hated 2018, but I can't.
I did a lot of necessary purging.
I grew.
God showed up over and over and over again in big ways, even through the deep pain and sorrow.
My faith grew.
Between Dad's cancer and our move taunting me, I spoke words of love that I had always held back.
We came on a big adventure as a family.
It was a good year, but it was definitely the most PAINFUL year I've ever had.


Today the new year is fresh. I want to pick up the journaling that I quit... I think around spring of 2016 when Shadow died and I had all four kids at home for school.

My theme for 2019 is LEARN. As we are still getting our feet on the ground here in Saudi, there is so my I WANT to learn, I know there is so much I NEED to learn, and I am certain there is a lot I have no idea that I will learn, but I'm open. I love to learn and I almost always have a running list of things I want to learn, but my list is always longer than the time I make available. Some of the things on my wish list include

• finding a Bible study that I can wholeheartedly dive deeply into,
• learning conversational Arabic,
• understanding the culture on camp and off, 
• figuring out how to invest well,
• enrolling in a few art classes...and maybe some fitness classes,
• learning to confidently get around town on my own and without a car,
• reading classic literature that I never made time for,
• begin mastering family travel planning,
• researching travel books to create a 10-year travel wish list,
• figuring out how to keep my home clean enough (and having wisdom to know what "enough" is) that I can easily welcome friends and newcomers any time,
• experimenting to find a few go-to recipes that I can make for get-togethers,
• reflecting on my thoughts and emotions as I process things I've kept compartmentalized,
• understanding how to be a mom-from-afar when Will goes away to school in the fall,

... my list is so much long than that, but those are the main categories. I know we will have challenges, but I pray that I can welcome them with a spirit of joy and learn from them. I pray that I can learn to use my time and energy well, that I can focus when I need (or want) to, that I can prioritize but learn to be flexible.

Now to go spend some of today in the pile of library books!

Turning the Pages: 2018

January
1. Princess Sultana's Daughters (Jean Sasson) NF
2. The Dante Collection: A Genevieve Lenard Novel (Estelle Ryan) F
3. Princess Sultana's Circle (Jean Sasson) NF
4. American Chick in Saudi Arabia (Jean Sasson) NF
5. Speaking of Jesus: The Art of Not Evangelism (Carl Medearis) NF
6. Princess: More Tears to Cry (Jean Sasson) NF
7. Daughter of the Mountain (Louise Rankin) with Ben and Maddie F
8. William Carey: Obliged to Go (Janet and Geoff Benge) with Ben and Maddie NF
9. All the Small Poems (Valerie Worth) with Ben and Maddie P
10. The Hiding Place (Corrie Ten Boom) NF
11. East of Eden (John Steinbeck) F

February
12. The Color Purple (Alice Walker) F
13. Shadow Spinner (Susan Fletcher ) with Ben and Maddie F
14. Going for Kona (Pamela Fagan Hutchins) F

March
15. Seven Daughters and Seven Sons (Barbara Cohen and Bahija Lovejoy)

16. Cornelia and the Audacious Escapades of the Somerset Sisters (Lesley M.M. Blume)

17. Hell's Princess: The Mystery of Belle Gunnes, Butcher of Men (Harold Schechter) NF
18. Living Water in the Desert (Rebecca Davis) with Ben and Maddie NF
19. Private India (James Patterson and Ashwin Sanghi) F

April
20. A Long Walk to Water (Linda Sue Park) with Ben and Maddie, NF
21. The Brethren (John Grisham) F
22. The Black Book (James Patterson and David Ellis) F

May
23. Beat the Story Drum, Pum-Pum (Ashley Bryan) with Ben and Maddie, F

24. Mary Slessor: Forward into Calabar (Janet Benge) with Ben and Maddie NF

25. Journey to Jo'burg: A South African Story (Beverley Naidoo) with Ben and Maddie F

26. Eastern Hemisphere with Ben and Maddie NF
27. Cross the Line (James Patterson) F
28. Woman of God (James Patterson and Maxine Paetro) F
29. The Light of the Fireflies (Paul Pen and Simon Bruni) F

June
30. The Ocean at the End of the Lane (Neil Gaiman) F
31. Radical Reminssion: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds (Kelly A. Turner) NF
32. Woman to Woman (Joy Loewen) NF

July
33. Assets Cubed (Anthony Humpage) NF
34. Entrusted (David York and Andrew Howell) NF

August
35. Invisible (James Patterson and David Ellis) F
36. You Have More Than You Think (David and Tom Gardner) NF

September
37. Living Trusts for Everyone (Ronald Sharp) NF
38. Humble Roots (Hannah Anderson) NF


October
39. Teff Love: Adventures in Vegan Ethiopian Cooking (Kittee Berns) NF
40. Invisible (James PAtterson and David Ellis) F

November
41. Ten Women (Marcella Serra) F
42. One-Dish Vegan: More than 150 Soul-Satisfying Recipes for Easy and Delicious One-Bowl and One-Plate Dinners (Robin Robertson) NF
43. A Taste of Arabia: Recipes and Customs from Arabia and Beyond (Jessie Kirkness Parker)
44. The Man Who Loved Books Too Much: The True Story of a Thief, a Detective, and a World of Literary Obsession (Allison Hoover Bartlett) NF

December
45. Swimsuit (James Petterson and Maxine Paetro) F
46. Cross Country (James Patterson) F
47. Eyewitness Travel: Top 10 London (Roger Williams) NF
48. Insight Guides England NF
49. The Asian Vegan Kitchen: Authentic and Appetizing Dishes from a Continent of Rich Flavors (Hema Parekh) NK
50. An Edible Mosaic: Middle Eastern Fare with Extraordinary Flair (Faith E. Gorsky) NF

Turning The Pages: 2017

January

1. Thomas Jefferson Education (Oliver DeMille)

2. Thomas Jefferson Education For Teens and Every Adult Who Wants to Change the World (Oliver DeMille)

3. Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations (Alex Harris and Brett Harris)

4. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry (Mildred D. Taylor) - with BMJ

5. Almost 12 (Kenneth N. Taylor) - with BMJ 

February

6. King of the Mound: My Summer With Satchel Paige (Wes Tooke) - with BMJ

7. Number the Stars (Lois Lowry)

8. The River (Gary Paulsen) - with WBMJ

9. The View From Saturday (E.L.Konigsburg) - with WBMJ

10. The Winged Watchman (Hilda Van Stockum) - with BMJ

11. 15th Affair (James Patterson and Maxine Paetro)

12. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll)

13. Oxford Illustrated Book of American Children's Poems - with BMJ

March

14. Out of the Dust (Karen Hesse) - with W

15. Miracles on Maple Hill (Virginia Sorensen) - with BMJ

16. The Second Mrs. Giaconda (E.L. Konisburg)

17. W is for Wasted (Sue Grafton)

18. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) - with W

19. The Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson (Bette Bao Lord) - with BMJ

April

20. General Butterfingers (Catharine Bowman Smith) - with BMJ

21. X (Sue Grafton)

22. The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had (Susan Wise Bauer)

23. Lights in a Dark Place (Rebecca Davis) - with BMJ

24.  Henri Matisse: Drawing with Scissors: Masterpieces from the Late Years

25.  The Children’s Book of American History – with BMJ

26.  In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson – with BMJ

27.  Every Soul a Star (Wendy Mass) – with BMJ

28.  Belay On (Boy Scouts of America)

May

29.  The Landmark History of the American People: From Charleston to the Moon, Volume II (Daniel and Ruth Boorstin) – with BMJ

30.  In Search of the Source (Neil Anderson & Hyatt Moore) – with BMJ

31.  The World Wars (Paul Dowswell and Ruth Brocklehurst) – with BMJ

32.  I Will Always Write Back (Caitlin Alifirenka and Martin Ganda) - with W

33.  The Summertime Survival Guide for Parents (Rebecca Kochenderfer)

34.  Uncle Tom’s Cabin (Harriett Beecher Stowe, audiobook)

35.  The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)

36.  Rescue the Captors (Russell Stendal)

37.  The Scent of Water (Elizabeth Goudge)

June

38.  The Bridge of San Luis Rey (Thorton Wilder)

39.  The Island of Dr. Libris (Chris Grabenstein, audiobook with WBMJ)

40.  Brian’s Return (Gary Paulsen, audiobook with WBMJ)

41.  Summer of the Gypsy Moths (Sara Pennypacker)

July

42.  The Girl on the Train (Paula Hawkins, audiobook)

August

43.  Mere Christianity (C. S. Lewis, with friends)

44.  Where the Mountain Meets the Moon (Grace Lin) – with BMJ

September

45.  Young Fu of the Upper Yangtze (Elizabeth Foreman Lewis) – with BMJ

46.  Hudson Taylor: God’s Adventurer (Phyllis Thompson) – with BM

47.  The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun (Brother Yun and Paul Hattaway)

October

48.  The Master Puppeteer (Katherine Paterson) – with BM

November

49.  I Rode a Horse of Milk White Jade (Diane Wilson) – with B&M

50.  Whatever Happened to Penny Candy? A Fast, Clear, and Fun Explanation of the Economics You Need for Success in Your Career, Business, and Investments (Richard J. Maybury and Jane A. Williams)– with WBMJ

51.  Breaking Stalin's Nose (Eugene Yelchin) - with BM

52. The Land I Lost: Adventures of a Boy in Vietnam (Quang Huynh and Vo-Dinh Mai) - with BM
53. Rickshaw Girl (Mitali Perkins and Jamie Hogan) - with BM
54. Teresa of Calcutta (D. Jeanene Watson and Louis H. Rock) - with BM

December 55. Christmas Carols for a Kid's Heart (Bobbie Wolgemuth and Joni Eareckson Tada) - with BMJ 
56. The Art Forger (BA Shapiro)
57. A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens) - with WBMJ
58. Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia (Jean Sasson)

Twelve Months

It has been twelve months since I last posted a family story. I did keep my reading list updated, but, overall, I've not blogged in a year.

I've been busy. 

I've been distracted. 

I've been overwhelmed. 

I've been avoiding writing.

Though we started the 2015-16 school year homeschooling only Will and Ben, we brought Maddie home in January, and Jon in the middle of February. Every time I thought about blogging, I was overwhelmed with all the unfinished tasks at home...

Shadow died a bit more than a year ago, and every time I sat down to consider blogging, I was overwhelmed with sadness... 

Will and I went to Uganda a year ago, and every time I considered blogging, I was overwhelmed with how many stories I had not written...

It was not just the mission trip tales, but the homeschool stories, the nature-outside-our-window happenings, the end-of-the-school-year ceremonies, the summer vacation and summer camp narratives, the early morning adventures, the beginning-of-the-school-year pictures and the yarn that just kept going and going, but in a tangled ball. I was too frustrated to try to work through it.

And every time I tried to write, my dog's photo smiled at me...and I cried. 

Now that it's been a year of yearning to get the stories written, I'm just jumping right in -- the last year of words is gone, and I'm not going to dwell on it. Instead, I am choosing to start with NOW.

What does NOW look like for us?

I am still overwhelmed with the unfinished home tasks...

I am still often overwhelmed with sadness without our loving furry family...

I am still overwhelmed that some really great stories are unwritten...

All four kids have been home schooling this year -- Will is in 7th grade, Jon is in 5th, and Ben and Maddie are in 4th. They go to Venture classes on Tuesdays, so I get a day "off," and they go for a couple hours on Wednesday afternoon. It has been a school year of ups and downs and learning to navigate uncharted waters (for us): growth spurts and the onset of pubescent attitude; curriculum that worked for some kids, but not all of them; figuring out how to empower our child with learning differences; finding the rhythms that work for our family. 

Our family is still very involved in scouting. Allen is leading the Trail Life unit that Ben and Jon are in; Will is back in Trail Life with his buddies. Maddie is an Explorer with American Heritage Girls, and I am in a new role mentoring our troop board and four other troops. Both groups still meet weekly at the same time, and both have at least one activity per month on a weekend.

Ben, Jon, and Maddie are taking music lessons. Though Ben played guitar last semester, he switched to drums in January. Jon is also playing drums, and Maddie is playing ukelele. Will focused on speech this school year, and has spent many hours researching apologetics for competition. This competition season is over, but he is already working on next year's. 

In our spare time, Allen and the kids play lots of games -- a few video games on the weekends, but lots of board games after dinner throughout the week. I've been painting (as a Christmas gift, Allen enrolled me in an online weekly art class). The kids and I read -- a lot! We read for school, but we all really like to read in our spare time, too.  All the kids spend a lot of time outside and with neighborhood friends. 

We have one not-cuddly cat, Pickles, about 16.5 years old, who has really enjoyed being the only pet. I have many times during the week when I wish we had a cuddly kitty or dog, but then I realize how much easier it is without the extra messes to clean up. The reasonable side of me tries hard to convince the other side that one cat is enough... but I still really miss what I had with Shadow, Ramses, and Tico...

Now...

I am writing about life again, but I will be okay with the times when living it is more of a priority than recording it.

Turning the Pages: 2016

Books read with any of my kids
Non-fiction

January
1. Daughter of Earth and Water: A Biography of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (Noel Gerson)
2. The Forgotten Girls (Alexa Steele)
3. 12th of Never (James Patterson and Maxine Paetro)
4. For the Love (Jen Hatmaker) - with book club
5. The Advocate (Teresa Burrell)

February
6. Unlucky 13 (James Patterson and Maxine Paetro)
7. Reluctant Writer (ebook)
8. Carry On, Mr. Bowditch (Jean Lee Latham)
9. Lewis & Clark Expedition (Richard Neuberger)
10. Helping Without Hurting in Short-term Missions (Stave Corbett and Brian Fikkert)

March
11. Justin Morgan Had a Horse (Margeurite Henry)
12. Calico Bush (Rachel Field)
13. Bones Never Lie (Kathy Reichs)

April
14. Adoniram Judson: Bound for Burma (Janet and Geoff Benge)
15. A Child's Introduction to Poetry (Michael Driscoll)
16. Peace Child (Don Richardson)
17. The Journeyman (Elizabeth Yates)
18. Fervent (Priscilla Shirer)

May
19. The Bean Trees (Barbara Kingsolver)
20. Cut to the Bone (Jefferson Bass)

June
21. Mr. Lemoncello's Library Olympics (Chris Grabenstein, audiobook)
22. Hatchet (Gary Paulsen, audiobook)
23. Theodore Boone: The Scandal (John Grisham, audiobook)
24. The Broker (John Grisham)

July
25. The Witnesses (James Patterson and Brendan DuBois
26. The Inquisitor's Key (Jefferson Bass)
27. Mistress (James Patterson and David Ellis)
28. A Midsummer Night's Dream (William Shakespeare, audiobook)

August
29. Back Fire (Catherine Coulter)
30. Split Second (Catherine Coulter)
31. The Great Turkey Walk (Kathleen Karr)
32. William Wilberforce: God's Politician (John Holzmann)
33. Angel Experiment (James Patterson, audiobook)

September
34. Bombshell (Catherine Coulter)
35. Across Five Aprils (Irene Hunt)
36. Confessions of a Murder Suspect (James Patterson and Maxine Paetro)
37. Leading like Jesus (Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges)

October
38. Caddie Woodlawn (Carol Ryrie Brink)
39. The Best Yes (Lysa TerKeurst)
40. The Everything Parents Guide to Children with Dyslexia (Abigail Marshall)

November
41. The Great Wheel (Robert Lawson)
42. The Last Woman Standing: A Novel (Thelma Adams)
43. The Watcher (Jo Robertson)

December
44. Little Britches (Ralph Moody)
45. Played to Death (BV Lawson)
46. The Woman in Cabin 10 (Ruth Ware)
47. Cross Country (James Patterson)
48. Do You See What I See?: Exploring the Christmas of Every Day (Ross Parsley)
49. Christmas Carols for a Kid's Heart (Bobbie Wolgemuth and Joni Earekson Tada)

Traveling to Uganda

8/11/16 - You wouldn't believe how hard it has been to find time to write...and the struggle with guilt and frustration I've had the last five-and-a-half months as I know the writing isn't happening. I'll miss it, and YES, I already regret not journaling closer to when we actually traveled, but it is what it is. Mostly, we have just photos now as the details are so fuzzy. I do still want to share our memories -- photos and crumbs from my mind...

Will and I went to Uganda on a shoe distribution trip for Parental Care Ministries. While we were gone, Ben, Maddie, and Jon stayed with Gramma and Granddad. Allen's cousin's daughter was doing a Flat Stanley project (taking photos of Stanley at different places in the US.) We took Stanley with us and got a few pictures for her, too.

Allen was able to take the day off work and he was one of two who drove our team to Houston. From Houston, we flew to Amsterdam, then Amsterdam to Entebbe. We stayed overnight in Entebbe, then took the PCM bus to Mbarara.

The only time I remember being stressed on the trip was the first evening we were in Mbarara. I had already seen a giant pile of shoes -- I am talking about 2000 pair of shoes, no boxes, piled high against a wall. Know this: my four kids each have two pair of shoes and I get frustrated seeing those 16 shoes unmatched and piled in the closet. Can you imagine how much my heart raced to see almost four THOUSAND black shoes unmatched and piled?!?!

I was told the PCM staff HAD started matching and packaging them, so I was quite thankful! When we arrived at the garage where the shoes were stored, they were paired and bagged -- about 30-60 pair per bag. What stressed me out was that we had no way of knowing what sizes we had, and I knew we needed to sort them out again to see what we had. The stressful part for me was that our whole team was looking to me for answers about what to do, but I didn't want the Ugandans upset to see us UNdoing everything I know they spent days doing. Lori (our team leader) asked me what we needed to do first and I replied we needed to pray. I asked for a few moments to think, and I think she saw the tears fighting to stay in and she pulled me aside to pray with me (without the group). We got the shoes sorted and got to know each other a bitter better in the process. After several hours of sorting, we counted and recorded all the numbers, then headed back to the hotel for dinner around 9:30pm.