The End of an Era

The end of an era -- the end of this lifestage for me -- I am no longer a mom of babies... or toddlers... or preschoolers! My kids are now all school-age, and it's still feels strange rolling from my tongue. Ben, Maddie, and Jon are now done with preschool, but it didn't quite end as planned (by now, you'd think I'd have planned for the unplanned...)

Since they have had the same teachers at the same preschool that Will did, I knew I would need to plan some time to make end-of-the-year posters for each of the kids for the preschool graduation ceremony. Knowing it would be tough to fit craft time in, I asked their teachers for the boards at spring break (about a month and a half early) so that I could start working on them. I made them all so that I could pull the papers off the poster and put them right into their scrapbooks. Though the layout and design of the three are similar, I tried to choose colors, patterns, and designs that represented each of the individuals. I let them help choose the papers and tell me some of the things that made them happy. Ben's poster is covered with his favorite papers -- rockets, planets, and stars, and a bright orange sunshiney sheet, but I chose lots of different fonts for the list of what he likes. Maddie's favorite colors are pink, purple, and orange. Her poster has hearts and flowers and doodles and lots of sparkles (though the glitter didn't show up in the picture). Jon's poster -- lots of straight lines, a variety of tropical prints (like his favorite clothes,) and a nice neat checklist. Here are their posters:

The day I turned these in, the teacher sent home a note that I needed to send costumes for the program. The request specified that each child needed to wear a costume that represented what they wanted to be when they grew up, but no Disney or superhero costumes, nothing that they would have to carry, it had to fit over their clothes, and please bring it within the week. ARG!! Timing was awful for that, and I struggled to not be bitter about it. I didn't want to spend a lot of money if they would wear the costumes for ten minutes, but I also didn't want the kids disappointed. Jon wanted to be a fireman, Ben wanted to be a dinosaur bone scientist, and Maddie wanted to be a princess. I convinced Maddie that she should choose a back-up in case she couldn't find the right guy to marry. She insisted if she couldn't find a king to love, she would settle for a prince. The conversation took a few days, but she finally decided she could be a florist. I spent a couple dollars on the flowers, but already had the apron. I bought the hat for Ben, but used Will's vest and some felt I had in the craft box. I bought the hat for Jon, and we used Will's red winter coat. I was thrilled to come up with three cute costumes that we assembled for less than $9 total! Our florist, paleontologist, and fireman:

But, as soon as I finished it all, the fevers started...and kept going...I felt like I was at a fever auction... 101 for Mama. Do I hear 102?... Goes to Maddie. Next up 103 for Ben. 104.5? Anyone? Yay, Jon wins this round. We spent a week passing around the virus, and sadly, the kids missed their preschool graduation ceremony, and the poster display, and the song and dance with the costumes. They did make it to the last day of school and had a blast at their Hawaiian Luau party -- Jon was thrilled to see so many friends in tropical prints like he wore every day. Now, preschool is over. I won't be writing checks to Southern Oaks anymore ... and I've been doing it every month for the last five years. These three are ready for "big kid school!" (Photos were taken for a slide show a few weeks before graduation - Ben, Maddie, and Jon).

Second Grade: Done!

Will finished his last few lessons and assignments, and we are calling it all DONE! The last ten weeks have been quite an experience for Will and me -- shorter school days, but more learning; exhausting, but fun; wearing thin our patience with each other, but bringing our hearts closer. I am counting it successful!

Since we began homeschooling with little warning, and not much time for planning, I went with a curriculum that had everything planned for me (except for math). We chose to use Singapore math; I ordered the textbook and workbook and hoped we would get all the way through it even though it was meant for whole semester (and we were only schooling for half a semester.) Surprisingly, we got through two sets of books -- one full year of math topics, in ten weeks! If we ever homeschool again, we will use Singapore math again because it teaches logic before it has the child memorizing facts. I love that Will was understanding how the concepts worked together. We still need to help him strengthen his mental math (no paper, or finger-counting), but Allen has been playing board games with Will to encourage him to think of shortcuts to calculations. Over the summer, Will has agreed to do math workbook activites weekly to keep his skills fresh.

As for the rest of the curriculum, after several weeks following the guide book, I started to break away from it and incorporate some other lessons. We read a few extra AWESOME chapter books because we finished the others early. We cut out some of the writing activities geared toward much older children, and focused on a few related activities that could also be checked off of his Scout electives. When Will seemed interested in particular Native Americans (tribes, foods, homes, heros) we took more time investigating them. I didn't like the way the curriculum handled Bible lessons, so I found another book that taught him how to study his Bible. I blended a few different art lessons and drawing lessons. Art lessons at the end of the lessons were often the carrot that encouraged Will to work quickly through his "boring" lessons.

People have asked me many times how homeschooling has gone for us, and it is often a difficult to answer quickly. I have to put my rose-colored glasses on before I begin to answer. When he was in school, he was often in trouble. He realized that trouble at school often meant more trouble at home, so he usually came home grumpy... really grumpy. We would walk through the front door at 3:30pm, and he would start yelling or picking on his siblings. I usually gave him a snack and some time to cool off, but then he needed to work on his assignments.... which he hated.... which led to more grumpiness and anger.... for both of us. Around 5:00, he would be done with his work, so he would go play while I worked on dinner. By the time dinner was over, it would be time to start heading for bed, so we really didn't have much happy-time after school. The next day, I would have to pry him from bed, and he often got up on the wrong side. Even if it was a cheerful morning, it wasn't long till he was out the door, heading to school with Allen.

Since he has been home, several things are the same, but many are different. He still started lessons at 8:00am, but since he didn't have to go anywhere, he got another 45 minutes of sleep. Usually, he woke without help and overall, he seemed to be in a better mood. Now, I'm not going to lie -- he hated the math worksheets and hated writing paragraphs. Getting through those assignments was TORTURE -- for both of us. BUT... it lasted about an hour, nearly every day, but then the crabbiness was done. I have so much more patience at 9:00am than I do at 4:00pm -- don't all moms? So, even though we still had the same disagreements over who would get their way, it was over early in the day. That left the rest of the day for us to learn together, read together, paint together, laugh together, talk together. I was blessed with several hours of (mostly) happiness with Will each day, that I didn't get when he was in school. I was in a position to explain more of the whys that busyness interrupted before -- why do I believe in God? why do I want him to learn to write well? why do I love Daddy so much? why is this one of our rules? There were some great benefits to schooling at home. When Allen went to long hours at work, we packed up the books and headed to Gramma's and Granddad's for a week or two. I wasn't as worried about bedtime and we did some things I wouldn't have considered on a real school night. Staying out late to watch a play signed for the deaf, staying up longer to go to an opera and get to talk to the performers afterward, going to Legoland on a school day when no one else is there, taking a day off to go spend a day with a friend whose dad passed away, spending a day fishing with Granddad, math and giggles at Starbucks -- all these would've been missed moments had he been in school. I loved the flexibility of doing our lessons when we needed to, where ever we were.

There were a few things that I was unprepared for, though. For most of the ten weeks we did home school, I was unbalanced -- or rather, my life was. The basic chores got done around the house, but there was always a layer of clutter (school books, papers, etc.) that taunted me. The younger ones still expected a lot of attention, and some days they were home, I felt I was being pulled to pieces. I still had appointments and grocery shopping that needed to be done, and that cut into learning time more than I liked. I didn't really figure out how to get the important things into my days: my Bible study, exercise, and personal down time. In fact, I had a lot of trouble getting some "down" time worked into even the weekends. That, for me, is life unbalanced. Too often I felt I was on the virge of being overwhelmed completely.

Will and I are glad to have a few more days to ourselves before the little kids finish school, and he is thrilled to be finished a couple days before he would've been done with "real" school. It doesn't look like we will do homeschool in the fall, but now I have a different kind of confidence about choosing a school for Will. I have a better idea of how he learns and what makes him tick. I have confidence in myself, now, and if the new school doesn't work out, no big deal -- we can do school at home again (but a bit differently than this time.)

Peek-a-Boo

I got a few giggles watching this sunflower bloom. The big, happy flower already brought a smile to my face, but it really seemed to be playing peek-a-boo with me, and that made me smile even more.

Ghosts of Nacogdoches

Will's scout group and families went to Nacogdoches for a day hike. It is always fun hanging out with the scout group because all the older kids are the same age -- all going into third grade, -- and  the younger siblings are all around five and six years old. There is usually a group of older boys, a group of younger boys, and a group of girls. It seems like everyone has several friends, and the parents (usually) do a good job of keeping up with all the kids as a group. Our families have been doing these types of events for two years with the scouts and we enjoy spending time with each other.

The hike was a historic tour that took us walking several miles through the historic town, and the kids who filled out the worksheet as we we walked will get a scout patch called "Ghosts of Nacgodoches." Even our five year olds wanted the patch enough to stop at every marker and do their best to write the answers to questions such as "How many Texans were killed at this battle." We learned about battles, heroes, and fallen soldiers, and walked by old buildings, a cemetery, a riverside nature trail.

Our family brought a picnic lunch and we went to a park with the Browns and Brodys to enjoy lunch and let the kids play for several hours. It was a fun family day, that bought Allen and me a silent drive home since all four kids fell asleep rather quickly.

Garden Painting

Our garden is my new favorite place to paint. One afternoon a few days ago, it was too beautiful to stay inside, but the kids wanted to do art. We took our supplies outside and I taught them how to use watercolor pencils. It was a nice way to spend the afternoon -- surrounded by my happy children (Will got tired and went inside), my favorite paints, colorful blooms, Bluebird Silas watching us from above, and a few visits from the titmice, woodpeckers, and finches.

Block by Block

We have been trying something for the last five months. When we catch the kids doing something special -- helping a sibling with a chore, holding the door for the family, finding something that needs to be done and doing it, having excellent behavior at the store, saying "yes, ma'am" and immediately obeying happily, and more -- we put a sticker on their personal chart. A full chart (25 stickers) earns $5 toward a special occassion. Once, they chose to have ice cream night out with the family. Another time, all four pooled theirs to buy a family Wii game. After a child fills a personal chart, they get a new chart and we put a sticker on the family chart. The kids worked together then, to fill the family chart -- we were hoping more for positive peer pressure and praise among them for filling a chart (rather than bitter jealosy.) Before we started the "program," the kids worked together to decide to fill the family chart for a trip to the Legoland in Grapevine (not quite as fancy as the theme park, but still a very special event for us.) It took about four and a half months, but the kids were all so excited when we put the last star on the family chart. They had even been saving their $5 bonuses to spend at Legoland.

We planned the trip for the weekend we would be in Dallas for our nephew's birthday, and, again, I was thankful for the flexibility homeschooling gave us. We were able to be at Legoland on a weekday when it wouldn't be so crowded. Nana went with our family, and we all had a really good time. 

After we went through all the prebuilt exhibits, we went to the playzones. Maddie and Nana built a castle in the pink princessy room.

Allen and Will spent a lot of time building towers of Lego to try out on the earthquake table.

Jon and Ben built and raced cars and other wheeled gadgets on the racetracks.

All of us worked together to build with the big blocks that were in the toddler-zone (but we did that, when we were among very few people there).

 I floated between them all and snapped pictures, though none turned out like I hoped. We arrived at the playground just after lunch, and we overlapped with a large school group for the first hour or so. After they left, either because it was a school day or because it was pouring rain outside, there was hardly anyone else there with us. We played for hours. We rode the Harry Potter ride two or three times. Four times, we rode through the tunnels, shooting laser-type guns at the bad guys.

We watched the 4D movie twice and realized that the center of the theater gets more of the dragon sneeze water spray. We all had a great time, but the shop disappointed the kids. (Two days later, we took them to Toys R Us to spend their bonuses, and no one even got Legos.)

We all had a great time, and the kids are already working on filling the charts to get to go back. We finished the weekend at Beckham's party, then headed home late Saturday night ... all of us exhausted, but still glowing in the fun we all had together.

No more monkeys!

Wednesday afternoon, I was bummed. I was frustrated that the refinery was down ... AGAIN! I was irritated that Allen wouldn't be able to take his four day weekend that he scheduled. I was mad at the world that he wouldn't be coming with us for our family mini-vacation to Legoland -- chosen by the kids. I was ready to cry, so I scheduled an afternoon pity party for myself. I talked to a few friends on the phone, had a wineball and an extra cup of coffee, and I read a book while I breathed deeply and the kids played upstairs.

Allen called me around four o'clock to say he would be late, and as wondered how I would explain his absence to the kids, I drank the last gulp of coffee and took another deep breath. I decided I should check on the kids again, but then I heard Will screaming. At times, Will can be so over-dramatic that I wasn't sure whether to expect a bone to be poking out his shoulder or whether he had a paper cut with a drop of blood. He was screaming bloody-murder and coming down the stairs quickly. I really was expecting something more like a paper cut, but there was blood all over his face and I had trouble figuring out where it was coming from. He screamed that he hit Maddie's bed (the metal part that holds the mattress up), and when I got a look at the cut on his forehead, a wave of nausea rolled through me as I realized a kiss and a band-aid wouldn't be fixing the problem.

My brain flipped through all the names of friends I might call for help with the other three kids, and I called a friend who lives nearby. She offered to come pick up Ben, Maddie, and Jon, and while we waited for her, I helped Will change out of the blue silky Mulan dress that was a bit too small. He held a towel to his head, I wiggled him out of the too-tight clothes, and helped him wiggle into some more masculine attire -- jeans and a dark red shirt (smart mama!) By the time Barbie arrived (about 4 minutes after I called her), I already called Allen, made sure I had the right insurance cards in my wallet, wiped up the blood trail on the tile (with Jon's help), got Will's and my shoes on, and closed and locked all the windows. I was practicing the deep breathing that I had needed earlier in the day to calm down, but I was still on the verge of being overwhelmed.

I took Will to the emergency room and they saw us rather quickly. The afternoon shift of nurses was different that the midnight crew I was used to seeing, but they still took good care of Will. The triage nurse said he was going to put on a band-aid, and I was a bit frustrated that I had panicked over something that just needed a band-aid when I thought it was much worse. It turned out to be a bandage with a cotton-ball soaked with lidocaine, but it took me ten minutes to realize that it must be bad if they start off numbing his head before they even checked his vitals. The doctor saw him, they put on another big bandage with much more pain-killer, and they explained that he would need stitches. Eventually, his head was numb enough for the big shot of a local anesthetic just before the sewing began. While the nurse and doctor were cleaning his wound, another doctor and nurse came in to see the deep cut. Will got one internal stitch and five external stitches. Though he claimed to have a headache, he didn't seem to be in too much pain after we got to the hospital. I showed him the picture of himself, and he chuckled saying, "Hey! I look like Frankenstein." More than anything, he was frustrated that he couldn't move his eyebrows when he talked.

We left the ER after 6:30, and headed to the Brown's for dinner and to get the others. Allen met us there, all seven kids ate then played while the four adults had a mostly-quiet dinner. It was great to have friends to call and I don't know how I'll ever thank them as much as I want to. It was a HUGE help that they took on three more kids, and fed us all, and did it all with out any notice. Now, things are more calm. Will's forehead is healing well, and he gets his stitches out on Tuesday.

As for what happened to cause the cut... I really don't know. He told me he was doing a somersault on the floor and ran into the bed. He told Allen he was doing a cart wheel. Jon said he was jumping on the bed, but Will argued that he was jumping off. He told his friend he was on the floor and trying to leap onto the bed, but missed. There are enough versions for me to know he was doing something he has been told not to do, but I don't know if he learned a lesson. Time will tell, I suppose... (I will continue  breathing deeply... sighing loudly... )

Play Ball!

I thought it was a great idea to sign the kids -- all four -- up for baseball when they asked to play. Somehow, over the last two years (when Will last played), I had forgotten what the six-week YMCA baseball season did to our family dynamics. Everyone was excited until the coaches called and told me that practice for Will was at 5:30, and the triplets would practice at a different field but same night at 6:30. Then, everyone was excited... except for Mama. Getting everyone fed, dinner cleaned up, then travelling to the fields all by 5:30 is tough! The first time, we made it with time to spare. Everything was perfectly peachy till someone had to go potty ... and there wasn't one ... and in the time it took us to figure that out, there was a potty-accident like I haven't seen in the last two years. I took that child home, and after a quick, cold hosing off, we headed back to the field. Thankfully, the triplets practiced at the Y where there were restrooms.

The first week of games, I was actually out of town, and Allen indicated things went pretty well for the four-plus hours they were at the ball fields... with no restrooms. The last two weeks, I've been at the games and discovered the library had clean restrooms and was only about two blocks away. This past week, I can't explain how thrilled I was to see porta-potties -- and I don't think I have ever been happy about those. We will be missing the next two weekends of games because of some pre-planned activities that we couldn't change, and I am okay with that. For the most part, all the kids have had fun playing. All of them have learned more about the rules and good sportsmanship, so I'm counting it a success. Two hours of playing has definitely proved too much for Ben, but he starts pouting if he isn't the one to catch the ball. Put him in a line and ask him to run as fast as he can, and you will never see him smile bigger. Here are some of the moments I caught at their last games for the season. See? They really did have fun (mostly.)

Maddie - Athletics #5 (it is tough getting helmets to fit right on such small heads.)

 Jon - Athletics #4

Ben - Athletics #3

Will - Rangers #7 (just like two years ago!)

And another photo that I just like :) - the trio was climbing the fence to watch Will play.



Coming of Age

All in one week:

Will rode his bike without training wheels on Monday FINALLY! ... as in we finally convinced him to try with them off. Since all his riding-mates are siblings with training wheels, it has been a challenge to convince him to try to take them off. Friends came on Sunday with all their bikes, and when he realized his buddy didn't have training wheels, he was ready to try. It only took an evening of a few chin-plants in the neighbor's lawn to figure it out.

Ben lost his first tooth on Thursday! The tooth had been holding on for quite a while, but it was too small for me to grip the few times he bravely asked me to try to pull it. Thursday morning, Ben had been in the bathroom a really long time. When he came out, he held a pile of kleenex against his mouth, and tried to sneak away. I asked what was going on, and he burst into uncontrollable sobs. He eventually calmed down enough to show me a trail of blood that happened when he ran into the closet door. His tooth was still in but bleeding a bunch, and I think all the blood scared him. His lower middle tooth was barely hanging on, but he wouldn't let me touch it. He clung to a pile of paper towels all morning, and when it was time for preschool, I gave him a baggie and a clean set of paper towels. As he switched the towels, I noticed the tooth was out, but he started bawling again when I told him. I excitedly raced for a mirror and the tooth-fairy pillow, and ramped up the cheeriness to way-beyond-normal. He calmed down and smiled, put the tooth in the baggie, then went out to the car to brag to his siblings. What drama!!

Meanest Mom

Today, I'm gladly accepting the nomination for mean mom. When I picked up the little kids from preschool, Ben was being contrary. I asked him to buckle his seat belt and he tried to kick me. He eventually buckled, but kept up the back-talk as I pulled out of the parking lot. (He REALLY needed a nap -- it was that kind of senseless ranting.) Ben got mad and told me he would get a gun and shoot me. So many selfish emotions rolled through my mind -- I was angry, I was sad, I was hurt, I was frustrated, but most of all, I was afraid. I wasn't afraid for my life, because I really believe he was just searching for the right combination of words to get a response from me. I was afraid of what he might become. I teared up as I questioned whether all kids go through this meanness or if it is just the ones that make the FBI's most-wanted list. I knew he needed to be disciplined for his words, but a spank didn't seem enough, and time-out wouldn't do much for him. Since I was driving, I was even more challenged with how to deal with it immediately. 

An idea came to me, and I called Allen to make sure he was okay with what I decided to do. I gulped back the sadness and shock, and told him he made a bad decision saying those words and we would go to the police station to see what they had to say about it. It was a complete gamble on my part since I didn't call ahead, but it was on the way home. I figured if they couldn't have a stern talk with him about guns and threats, then we would pick up the brochures about those topics and read them at home. As soon as I explained where we were going, Ben started crying and pleading with me to not send him to jail. I was practicing my deep breathing (trying to keep my cool) when Will piped up: "Don't worry, Ben! I saw this on TV once. Since you only used words and not a real gun, they will probably only lock you up for a month or ... maybe a season."

When we arrived at the station, three kids excitedly climbed out of the car, but I had to pry Ben out of the seat. We went inside and I explained the situation. We waited just a few minutes for Officer Dean to arrive. I again explained the situation, and, as he realized what I was after, the police officer crossed his arms, puffed out his chest, and stood as tall as he could -- yes, he was intimidating. Ben barely peeked over the officer's tummy, and I considered having him stand on a chair so he could see into his eyes. I decided the intimidation-factor was necessary for the lesson to stick. Officer Dean explained to Ben that he locks people up for making threats like that, and even when he is mad, Ben needs to choose better words. He continued the talk, telling Ben that if he talks to me that way again, I should bring him back to the station, but maybe... he would get locked up for a few hours. Ben's knees were shaking a little bit, then the officer added that in jail, kids don't get pillows and blankets. I don't know how he knew what Ben is most attached to, but I'm pretty sure those few words may be what was needed to make sure I don't hear threats from Ben for awhile. His knees started knocking when he realized how much trouble he was in.

And that's it. I didn't put him in time-out. I didn't wash his mouth out with soap. I didn't even paddle his bottom. I let the law be the lesson.

I think I did the right thing, but I still can't shake the fear that I've messed up somewhere along the way. I really do believe he was just spouting off, but the second-thoughts keep nagging me. I often pray for God to show me how to be the parent I need to be to raise these kiddos the right way, but now I need to go release these fears to God and ask for His guidance and assurance.