One day at a time

I was looking forward to this week, but as it unraveled itself, I was kind of ready for it to be over.

Monday got cold, the weather man started threatening me with snow, and Allen and I got to go on our weekly date. Our sitter came at six, just as the kids were starting dinner. Allen and I had a romantic dinner (Any meal seems romantic if it is quiet and I don't have to cut someone else's food or wipe their hands and face at the end of the meal.) Then we shopped at Target and the grocery store. I really do treasure our alone time even if we are doing chores at the same time.

Tuesday was really cold, but I got the kids out and we went to Bible study. It was my first day of a different class since my other one is already over. This new class is pretty homework non-intensive, and we just read a daily one-page devotional. I will probably need to get back to my own Bible study as well since I really need more than just a page and a verse each day. When we left the church the snow was falling, and it kept coming the rest of the day. I told mom how I felt about the weather, "It is white outside like a bad TV picture and I just want to go to the windows and adjust the rabbit ears to make it go away. I want my spring weather back."

That evening, I had a delightful time with my MOPS friends as we had dinner together at the home of our mentor mom. It was the last restful and rejuvenating part of the week even though I had planned for some more. I got to bed late that night and was soon wakened by a wailing Maddie who just needed a pat on the back and a kiss on the head. A little while later, Will woke up with a fever and headache, and that happened a couple times more. I woke up exhausted but it was hard to stay grumpy when I'm showered with giggling children wishing me a happy birthday.

Wednesday was my birthday and it happened to fall on the day I take the three little ones to Mother's day out. I was looking forward to getting my haircut and shopping for some new spring clothes, but with Will staying home sick, it didn't happen. Just before taking the kids to MDO, I opened my devotional to February 24th and the scripture that was discussed shouted at me:

For this is contained in Scripture: Behold, I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious corner stone, And he who believes in Him will not be disappointed. -- I Peter 2:6

The interesting part? The day's scripture did two things for me. 1. It told me not to be disappointed (in the day). 2. It referred to one of the last verses I really took apart before I got into the shallower group Bible studies. It made me realize what I thought the day before: I need to get deeper again.

I did get a quick nap in between movies, but otherwise Will and I snuggled in blankets and watched Pixar flicks while the other three were at MDO. About the time I had to go get Ben, Maddie, and Jon I realized that Thursday was supposed to be a beautiful day. Since it would be Jon's day, we could stay out of the house all day (he is the one who no longer naps.) I was really looking forward to getting out on Thursday -- sometimes just being cooped up wears on my nerves.

On a happy-birthday note, I've decided I LOVE Facebook, snail mail, and the telephone. I received more than 50 greetings from family and friends from every single stage of my life: from my best friend I've known since first grade, to junior-high buddies, to the guys and gals I lived with in high-school and college . . . from the time I lived in Amarillo with my first real job, to friends I met at the scrapbook store in Kansas, and the friends who surround me in my life here in Texas . . . and the family greetings, the cards I got from family and close friends, and the few phone calls that brightened my day. It was nice to feel loved, and I appreciate all of the happy wishes!! After dinner, Allen helped the kids wrap some gifts that they were SO excited to give me . . . at first. When Maddie, Ben, and Jon realized they didn't get to open the presents themselves or even keep the presents, they were pretty upset. Will, on the other hand, KNEW. Will has had in mind since before Christmas what he wanted to get for me. He and Allen went last weekend to choose the perfect gift for me, but Allen was shocked to see what it was. Then Will was a little disappointed that Dad wouldn't help him buy the $900 diamond ring. From what I've heard, Will had certain criteria in mind. 1. It had to be a sparkly ring for me to wear and know he loved me. 2. It had to come in a really pretty box. In the end, Allen steered him away from the super-expensive jewelry, then away from the costume jewelry that shouted BLING!!! and they chose a pretty necklace with Will's birthstone on a small pendant. The triplets gave me earrings that matched, and the kids have been thrilled to see me wearing the pretty gifts.

Thursday came. What I forgot to factor into Thursday-plan was that Will still had a fever Wednesday morning, and we aren't supposed to send him to school until he has gone 24 hours fever-free without meds. When I got up excited for Thursday, Allen reminded me that Will needed to stay home, and it was hard not to be disappointed that the day wouldn't work as I planned. So Wednesday and Thursday I was full of guilt -- I felt guilty that I was being selfish. I felt bad that Will wasn't feeling well and I just wanted to get out of the house. I really need some "me-time" and with several weeks of kids being sick, I've not gotten my normal doses.

I still needed some away-from-home time, so Will, Jon, and I dropped off Maddie and Ben at school, then ran some errands. First we stopped to pick up some fresh bagels for lunch, then we went to the used bookstore. Both boys couldn't have been easier to shop with and I let them each pick a book. (If it seems we buy a lot of books, we do.) Jon picked an I-Spy book, and Will found a Star Wars book that had lots of words, but enough pictures to keep his attention. When we got home we laid on the blankets in the living room, read stories, and played I-Spy with the storybooks. It was still a good day, even if it wasn't like I imagined it would be. Just before we went back for Ben and Maddie, the FedEx truck left a gift. Allen and I have birthdays close enough that we had this delivered between our days as our joint gift to each other.

Jon and Will didn't believe me when I shouted, "Pizza's here!" from the porch, but that's really what it was. Shipping was $20, but that was cheaper than two plane tickets to Chicago to get some Gino's East deep dish pizza. As he stretched his little arms around the large box, Jon told me, in his sweet, excited voice, "The box is bigger than my hugs!" (and Jon has some pretty big hugs!) After Allen got home, he entertained the kids with some tricks with the dry ice while I made dinner.

Friday is upon me. Will is back at school. It is a cold, rainy day and the kids are still in pajamas. I woke up determined to have a fun day no matter what happens. After all, I get to decide what kind of day I'm going to have by choosing my attitude. Every once in awhile the stars line up perfectly and we have a calm, sweet day. ... but today, I turned my back and found that Jon and Maddie got into stickers and (while I was oblivious but in the same room) they put them on every surface that wasn't paper. I quickly had a sticker-sneezed kitchen and living room. To make it REALLY challenging, they were all Bible characters so each time I ripped one off I was reminded to be nice. . . and yes, I was.

I did catch some other good quotes this week that I want to remember:

• Will to Maddie: "She's NOT our MUMMY!!! Do you see toilet paper wrapped all over her? No!!"
• Jon, referring to a metal box of dominoes: "Mama, is this a toy for people or for childrens?"

Through His blood

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. I Peter 2:24

Journal entry Nov. 16, 2009

I froze. I struggled. I dug for the last three days. I'm stuck on this verse and have been waiting for a few silent moments to ponder it.

Christ bore our sins -- MY SINS -- in his body on the cross. Why? The answer follows: "so that I might die to sins and live for righteaousness; by Christ's wounds," by Christ's blood I "have been healed." Setting aside the unworthiness that overcomes me to think further. . .

Christ died FOR my sins, WITH my sins, and FROM my sins. When He died, so did my sin. How can I ever repay it? I cannot, but I can do my best with the gift He's given me. Yes, Christ will return someday; until then, I can let Him live through ME even though it is I who lives through Him. I continue to lift the song as my prayer: "Let them see Jesus in me. May they recognize His face. Let me communicate His love and his grace. Let me reflect who He is in the way I choose to be so they can see Jesus in me."

Through Christ's blood I have been healed. God, let me let go of my insecurities and hurts so that you can heal my soul with your son's blood as you planned from the very beginning.

Getting ready to MARCH . . . in April

Allen and I had a healthy 2-year old son when our triplets were born nearly three months prematurely in 2006. We believe that the research and education funded by the March of Dimes is the reason our three preemies survived and are the happy, busy three-year olds that they are now. Last year, our family walked together to show our support for the March for Babies, and we are all eager to help again this year.

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. One day all babies will be born healthy; today too many moms and families know the heartbreak of having a baby born fighting to survive. I've joined March for Babies because the March of Dimes champions the needs of moms and babies in our community and across the nation. The money we raise for March for Babies will help support all-important research offering preventions and solutions for babies born too soon or with birth defects, educate women on things they can do to increase their chances of having a healthy baby, provide comfort and information to families with a newborn in intensive care, push for newborn screening and health insurance for all pregnant women and children and so much more!

If the lives of our children have touched your life at all, please consider donating today. It's easy, safe and secure - just click on the side bar or on the link above to make a donation and sponsor our team. If you are interest in walking with us, please let me know so I can help you join our team. Our Mothers of Multiples group is going to March for Babies with our families and friends on April 24th, 2010. All of our families have been positively affected by the March of Dimes, and we are excited to be working together to help a cause so close to our hearts!!

100 Days of School

On February 1st, Will's kindergarten class celebrated their 100th day of school. He had an assignment to work with his parents and create a poster with 100 objects. Will had his heart set on a robot, and this is what happened when Allen cleaned off his workbench and let Will create. Will said it is an "Alien Robot and a UFO." It was created with washers, nails, screws, staples, curtain pins, wire covers, picture hanges, and a bunch of other stuff. When it was sent to school, it had 100 parts, but several came off on the way home. Hopefully we found them all for the photo.

Checkin' out LA!

Posted out of order -- our trip was on Feb. 5th and 6th

LA. . . as in Louisiana. . . great Super Bowl game (at least the parts I caught between reading a novel). . . great overnight trip with Will. What an interesting time to visit Louisiana -- the weekend the New Orleans Saints are playing in the Super Bowl, and just a couple weeks to Mardi Gras. To say the state was in party-mode is a bit of an understatement, but the excitement and colorful decorations were fun.

My friend, Aja, and I met when we both lived in Independence, Kansas. I moved to Texas in 2007, and last summer she moved to Kentucky. Imagine my surprise when I found out she was going to be visiting Louisiana and only a few hours away. I prepared for our adventure by taking Ben, Maddie, and Jon to my parents for the weekend. Luckily, I didn't have to drive the entire way since Dad met me half-way (thanks, Dad!) Thursday night, Allen and I told Will that I was taking him on an educational trip to Louisiana. The few days leading up to the trip, I had been reading stories about a plantation we were going to visit. Friday morning at 5:30 am, the lights in the kitchen and living room were on, but Allen and I were still in bed. When I got up to see what was going on, Will was sitting on the couch, dressed, saying he was ready to go. We left around 7:00 ... after we all went back to bed.

Will and I arrived in Natchitoches, LA, around 10 that morning just as Aja and her family were arriving. We all wandered around the historic downtown area, found a couple of letterboxes, took pictures of buildings, churches, and the kids. After tasting the area specialty, Natchitoches meat pies, for lunch, we headed for the Oakland Plantation. Since I kept Will out of school, I insisted he learn something on our trip. The kids did a National Park Junior Ranger workbook and activities, and we all took a guided tour of the main house with the ranger. Will learned about the plantations cash crops: indigo and tobacco. After the cotton gin was invented, the main crop was cotton. He learned a bit about sharecropping and life on a pre-Civil War plantation. The kids ran and played among the enormous oak trees until the mamas got tired, then we drove around the Cane River area snapping pictures while trying to stay warm on a blustery (and muddy) day.

That night, Will was fading quickly; around 5:00 pm, he asked if we could eat dinner and go to bed. He decided he wanted something fast to eat and then we headed to a convenient bed and breakfast. When he realized we had a house to ourselves, he thought it was pretty neat. The shelves of candy jars near our room helped him feel welcome, too. Around 6:30 pm, we called Allen, Ben, Maddie, and Jon to say good night, brushed our teeth and got in our pajamas and climbed into bed to snuggle and read books. We read to each other for two and a half hours, then turned off the lights and talked and told jokes until he fell asleep. I loved it!!!

The next morning, we enjoyed a tasty homemade breakfast before the innkeeper-chef left us on our own. I loaded our bags into the car and we were ready to search for some more letterboxes. UGH!! I shut the trunk and realized I had locked my keys in accidently. I still had the house key in my pocket so we searched for a phone book. Will could sense my frustration, but I thought I had contained it well. He gently patted my back and said words I've said many times to him: "It's okay, Mama. Sometimes we have rough days, but I still love you." Twenty minutes and thirty bucks later, we were on our way.

The sun was out, but it was still cold. We found the cemetery that featured a Steel Magnolias stamp and enjoyed the birds chirping, the flowers in bloom, and the pretty blue sky. The letterbox was near the location where the cemetery scene in the movie was and it was interesting to read the plaque about the movie being made in Natchitoches. When we got to Waco that afternoon, I had to watch Steel Magnolias just to see all the places we had been that were featured in the movie, too (around downtown, at the church, by the river, and in the cemetery.)There is so much to do in this quaint little town, and Will and I are looking forward to coming back with Allen and the little kids soon. I had a great time visiting with Aja, and my heart treasures the special moments with Will, too. I hope that I have more times like this with each of my children. . . not just the afternoon once a month, but an entire day and a half together just having fun, learning, and enjoying each others' company.

I {HEART} Valentine's Day

I love Valentine's Day. I loved it as a kid when we got to make little mailboxes and collect silly cards from classmates. I loved it when I got a little older and started getting a flower every couple of years. But now. . . now that I have kids I really LOVE it!!
I started the heart-day festivities by making chocolate chip cookies for the little kids class party. These pretty little heart cookies were super-easy to make. I started with frozen preshaped cookie dough from one of the fund raisers. I rolled the tops and sides in the heart sprinkles then I baked the cookies following the directions on the box. As soon as they came out of the oven I pressed the heart cookie-cutter into the hot cookies. Presto!! Cute heart cookies that are delicious, easy, and look home-made -- total time, about 25 minutes.Since I bought that particular cookie cutter just for this year's Valentine's day, I had to get my money's worth and put it to good use. We cut bread to make mini Valentine PB&J sandwiches. We used it to cut out black-cherry finger jello. We used a heart pancake shaper to cut pizza dough and let the kids make their own Valentine pizzas.
At the end of the day, I knew it was worth all that "trouble" when Maddie told me, "Valentine's Happy Day, Mama!" . . . did she mean Happy Valentine's Day or that her Valentine's Day was happy? Who cares?

Twelve hours

5:30 am -- ring, ring . . . ring, ring. . . Hello? "This is a recording. . . there is too much snow. . . keep the kids at home today. . . don't come to school. . . the teachers won't be there. . . you can go back to sleep now. . . but you won't be able to. . .have a terrific day!"

5:42 am -- Will? Why are you awake? You might be ready for school, but it's been cancelled today. Go back to bed. . . Will, stop crying. . . the Valentine's party will be on Monday instead.

6:23 am -- Jon? Why are you awake? Aren't you tired? No? Well, go look out the window. . . You'll be able to see it a little better when the sun comes up. You've never seen snow like that!Well, maybe, but surely you can't remember the ride home from the hospital when we brought you home for the first time. I'll get you some breakfast after I shower. No -- please go in the living room with daddy, I'd like some privacy please.
6:46 am -- Wow! It really is beautiful outside. Allen, before you go out front, please let me take pictures of the snow on our house. We may never see snow on this address again. No, thanks. . . I can wait until you get out of the shower.

7:02 am -- What? Why aren't you guys hungry? You can't be done with breakfast already . . . okay, Maddie, you can eat Jon's cereal, too.

7:09 am -- I'll be right back, Allen. I'm gonna go snap some pictures before it all melts. I love you, too!7:32 am -- ring, ring-doodley-do . . . ring, ring-doodley-doo. . . Yallow? Nah, the roads can't be that bad. . . really? Okay. Great! I'll be there in a few hours. Hey, Sarah, we got an email not to take unnecessary risks driving on bad roads. . . I'll stay here for a little while longer.

8:01 am -- No, Ben. . . that glove is for your other hand. Maddie, put your hat on. Don't worry, Will, I'll help you with your gloves. Jon, your coat is to keep you warm . . . you need to wear it if you are going outside.

8:13 am -- No eating yellow snow! If you really want to taste it, get it off the slide. Oops! Let me help you, yes, it is slippery. Don't sit in it, your bottom will get cold.

8:24 am -- Hey!! Ben! Don't throw snow on your mama!

8:27 am -- Why can't I take pictures? Oh. . . okay, just make sure they make me look cute. . . and don't drop it. I was just teasing. . . sort of.8:31 am -- Maddie? Why are you crying? It isn't that bad is it? I thought you were having fun. . . OH!! Baby, you are cold, huh? Let's pull your pants up then. Is that better? good. Lets try to keep your pants up, I'm sorry they are too big. Let me know if you need more help.

8:36 am -- I'm not laughing at you. . . I'm laughing with you. My turn, now. I have to get a picture of the fence unloading on you.8:39 am -- Why can't you build a snowman? Oh. Well, if the snow is that wet, maybe you can make a snow blob and put arms and eyes on it. . . . never mind, Will just tackled the pile you guys made.

8:40 am -- Hey? Where did Ben go? Ben? . . . There you are. What are you doing? "Making snow-body" . . . Do you mean a snow angel? You're right. It must be a snow-body. It's okay, Will, he can call it whatever he wants to.

8:47 am -- Hey, Allen. Look at Maddie and Jon. They are trying to have a snowball fight like you and Will are doing, but the snow keeps sticking to their mittens. 8:53 am -- Thanks for showing me this view. The sweet gumballs sure are pretty from this perspective. . . hey, look! The sun is coming out and the sky is turning blue.

8:54 am -- Run, Ben! Run! Isn't this fun?!8:56 am -- ALLEN!! You are not being a good example. Aim to the side so we don't get the camera wet. Nope. . . didn't get that one. Try again. . . once more. . . got it!8:57 am -- Darn it!! You weren't supposed to hit the camera! Now I'm really mad!

9:03 am -- Here, lets smile for a picture with the other camera.9:04 am -- Will, are you still avoiding the camera? Maybe you can smile once just so I can prove you got to stay home and play outside. Thanks! . . . no, I don't want you to throw that at me. Ok, you can eat it.9:08 am -- What are you doing, Ben? It's a good thing that ladder isn't metal, but I hope you don't get a splinter in your tongue. Yes, it does look like a big ice cream cone. . . but it probably doesn't taste as sweet.

9:10 am -- Since everyone is cold and wet, lets go in now for hot chocolate. Shadow is sure having fun, isn't he? Fetch, Shadow, fetch! Where did the snowball go? Find it, Shadow, find it!9:30 am -- Thanks for sticking around for the fun, Babe! I wish you didn't have to go. . . I guess it wasn't a brilliant idea for me to load the kids up on hot chocolate when I still have to survive the rest of the day. I love you. Be careful today!

9:39 am -- . . . because Mary Poppins is my favorite movie. It's magical, just like no-school snow days.

12:07 pm -- Come eat your lunch, kids! We'll take naps after lunch.

1:26 pm -- Jon, you get back in bed.

1:31 pm -- No playing with toys, it's naptime now. . . . because Mama needs a nap, too. I can't lay down until I know you are asleep.

5:18 pm -- Love! It is so great to see you! I'm exhausted. . . . Jon didn't nap, but the others did. Dinner will be ready in about eleven minutes. . . . black beans and rice with chicken.

5:30 pm-- Dinnertime! Please come eat. . . . amen.

Little Bits of Life

Avoiding bedtime, Will got up to ask just one more question: "Why is grass green instead of blue?" I sent him back to bed.

Jon was right behind him with his own question: "Mama, can we get an elephant tomorrow?"

Today we had snow and sleet. Maddie came to me complaining dramatically: "Mama, I am frozing!"

At bathtime, Will told us "I want to be bathtized so I can drink the blood and eat the candy at church."

Growing up

While we waited at the school for Will to get out, the little kids talked to me about what they want to be when they grow up. . .

• Ben -- "I want to work at the refinery with Daddy."
• Jon -- "Me, too! I want to work at Daddy's desk at the refinery."
• Maddie -- "I want to be a pink butterfly like Mama and Julianne. Yeah. Just a butterfly."

Four

How about four lists of four for the fourth. . . ?

Four places I go over and over: the elementary school, the church, the grocery store, crazy

Four people who email me regularly: Allen, Mom, Shelley, Ema

Four favorite smells: freshly cut grass, lavender, roasted coffee, oatmeal cookies baking

Four television shows I watch: House, Law & Order, Community, Castle

Will They See Jesus In Me?

Right now, I am desperately searching for a bit of peace in God's Word. Two hours ago, I picked up the triplets from Mothers Day Out. Since they were up before six and had shortened naps, the hour between getting them and waiting for Will was long -- full of disobedience, defiance, whining, crying, tantrums, and my yelling to be heard. When we got home, I opened the windows, put all four loud kids outside on this beautiful day and I sat with my Bible and coffee at the kitchen table. A song I heard on the radio is playing in my head, but I only know one line, and that I keep singing: "Will they see Jesus in me? Will they see Jesus?" As I hit replay on the last few hours I'm afraid the only attribute that even came close to Jesus was me flipping out like He flipped the tables at the temple, and I know that doesn't count. I am to learn from and model Jesus and He reminds me here in these verses that He is gentle.

• To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. I Peter 2:21


• (Jesus said) "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29

Lately, I've struggled with days -- partly health and hormones, but the whining, crying, and defiance pushes me to the edge. I say things I can't UNsay, and I do things I can't UNdo. I am ashamed and amazed that I can be so ugly to the ones I love so much.


I went and looked up the lyrics to the tune still playing in my head. It is my prayer for this time in my life: And most of all I pray my family sees Jesus in me.

Do They See Jesus In Me? (by Joy Williams)

Is the face that I see in the mirror
The one I want others to see?
Do I show in the way that I walk in my life
The love that You've given to me?
My heart's desire is to be like You
In all that I do, all I am

Do they see Jesus In Me?
Do they recognize Your face?
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace?
Do I reflect who You are In the way I choose to be?
Do they see Jesus In Me?

It's amazing that you'd ever use me
But use me the way You will.
Help me to hold out a heart of compassionate grace
A heart that You're spirit fills.
May I show forgiveness and mercy
The same way You've shown it to me.

Now I want to show all the world who You are:
The reason I live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me.

Do they see Jesus In Me?
Do they recognize Your face?
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace?
Do I reflect who You are In the way I choose to be?
Do they see Jesus In Me?

Journal entry Nov. 11, 2009