Mama Crushed

Today is the second day of school. Yesterday was tougher than I planned, but today, Maddie and Jon insisted on going in the school without me. Ben saved me by asking me to go in with him (I was glad to still feel needed). When we got to the school, I was crushed when all three insisted they were big enough kids to go in without me. "We're big kids now. Just drop us off at the door." ... even Ben insisted. When I did drop them off, they didn't even look back. I cried a bit. It is hard to go from being constantly needed for the last eight-and-a-half years to feeling unneeded all of a sudden. That's what I get for teaching them to be adventurous. Hopefully, this nest-fledging will be the hardest one until they are 18 and heading off to college.

Starting School

Today was the first day of school for all four kids. Ben, Maddie, and Jon are attending kindergarten at a charter school -- still a public school, but with a few more options than we had at the school we should go to based on where our home is. At the charter school, the kids will be exposed to three types of music classes (musical theater, choir, and violin), they will do PE and dance, they will have art and Spanish -- many of the classes are things I'd like them to be exposed to, but I'd rather not be driving all over town after school trying to fit it all in before dinner. Will is attending a different charter school through UT Tyler. His is a half-day project-based learning experience. Though he is in third grade, his class is actually a mix of fifteen third- and fourth-grade kids. We are really excited about his opportunities there, but I will share more as the year progresses.

All the kids were up on time, ready on time, and even had enough time to spare for Ben and Jon to change into different shirts since the others got egg all over them.

Last week, when I told the kids they would each have their own class and teacher, Ben was upset and started sobbing, "But I don't want to be without Maddie and Jon!" I explained that he would get to have his own class and not have to share his teacher with his sister and brother, but he could play with them at recess. When he understood they would still be close by, he wiped his tears and said, "OK. Let's do it." By this morning, Ben was excited because at school he would meet more girlfriends -- he explained he really wanted forty, more than anyone. Maddie insisted SHE would be able to get more girlfriends. Ben said she needed to get more boyfriends. She replied, "Maybe another day."

Maddie was the most obviously excited of the bunch. For the past week and a half, she has counted the number of days until meet-the-teacher. Then she counted down the days till today. Friday night, she was anxious to go to bed early because when she woke up, it would be closer to the first day of school. "It-is-one-day-closer-to-Monday-and-Monday-is-the-first-day-of- school-and-I'm-so-excited-because-I-get-to-learn-a-lot-and-go-to-art-and-do-math-and-Mrs.Maschall-said-I-will-get-to-help-other-kids-read-and-Mama-I-just-can't-wait!" (insert maniacal giggling here). It was definitely an understatement to say she was exited. She was excited to get to meet new friends, and she promised me she would "try hard to make friends who were both brown and peach."

Jon was also thrilled to be heading off to school. "I'm finally in kindergarten big-school! Now how much longer until we get to the real math problems." I am a bit worried that he and Maddie will get bored. Both of their teachers said they've never had a student know how to read before kindergarten. Those two love playing school, so I don't anticipate any problems, but they will likely find learning the alphabet a bit dull. Jon went to school wanting to learn how to add double digits, but the syllabus said they would be learning to write and identify numbers.

Will is too cool to admit he is looking forward to this school year. Until I picked him up from school, he insisted he already knows what school is like and he knew he wouldn't like it. He was a little bit excited that he was taking his newly-assigned iPad to school. Allen took Will to his school since it is on the way to work, so I don't know what the discussions were in the car.

I took the youngest three. We all talked on the way, and at one point I was {sort of? not really?} joking that I might be lonely at home with all my kids at school. Jon and Maddie overwhelmed me with their wisdom as they finished each others thoughts and sentences to tell me, "Mama, don't worry about being lonely. When we are at school it will be quiet, and God always sits with you when it's quiet. You won't be alone." I took a steadying breath and pinched my eyelids shut to keep them from overflowing, and I told them they were absolutely right. We pulled into the school parking lot before I could tear up any more.

Jon's classroom was first, and he marched right in, hung up his backpack, and took his seat. Maddie's class was next, but she agreed to help take Ben to his first (their classroom doors are about two feet apart, so it wasn't really a detour.) Ben also went in without really looking back at me. Maddie was last and, just like her brothers, she went right in; she found her play-doh and took her seat. That was it. I sort of glumly walked back to the car. I felt a bit lost and unneeded and my eyes threatened to water again. Somehow, I held back the tears. I have been looking forward to the peace and quiet, but I don't think I realized how suddenly it would happen. Did I expect the noise to trickle away to nothing?

This morning, I went to the grocery store right after dropping them off. I sat in the car and called Allen to find out that dropping off Will and his friend went pretty smoothly. I called a friend and just chatted for a few minutes -- sort of my "getting my mind back together" conversation. I went in and got all my groceries quickly -- I'd forgotten how easy that is without reminding kids to stay with me and not touch. I don't think I've had that easy of a shopping trip in almost six months. I came home and put the groceries away. I mentally went through the list of what I wanted to do in my quiet times -- catch up on the blog, clean out the pantry and freezers, reorganize the office, work on Will's scout quilt, read, listen to some school lectures, catch up on my current Bible study workbook, read ahead for the Bible study I start next week, read a bunch of books that are piled dangerously on my nightstand, sit and do nothing. My list is long, but I wanted to capture a few of the moments from this morning before I lost the thoughts in all the busyness.

I picked Will up at noon, and for the first time EVER, he told me, "My school day was AWESOME, Mom! I LOVE this school!" He and I worked on some of his assignments after we had lunch. Ben, Maddie, and Jon also had great days. When we got home, the three little ones went upstairs to play. Three hours later, they were still playing well together, and every time I checked on them, they were huddled close together. I'm guessing they missed each other and had to get their sibling time in before the end of the day.

Just before dinner, Ben told me, "Mama, thanks for sending me a text message at school." I asked what he meant and he showed me the note I put in his lunchbox. I got a kick out of him calling it a text message, but that may be what I call those little love notes from now on.

Bright and Early Adventures: Day 1

We started the day at Target, staring into the windows willing it to open just a few minutes early. At 8:00, the employees opened the store and I discovered my favorite time to shop Target. There was one other lady there, but otherwise, we had the place to ourselves. The younger crew chose new lunchboxes for school, and I sent the older one after several boxes of cereal. We we out the door and into the car for the next part of our adventure.

We arrived at the Nature Trail right at 8:30am, and the weather was just over 70-degrees -- with a slight breeze and the birds' choir at full-volume, it could not have been more perfect. It took awhile for me to convince the kids to keep their voices down so we could enjoy the nature-sounds, but after a large rabbit bolted and all they saw was the tail, they calmed down.

The next time we were near a rabbit, they did all get to see it. We searched for letters in the trees and flowers and tried to spell "school" by taking photos. Though I did hear a little bit of whining that the trail was way too long, when we got to the end, they all looked at me with confusion and asked, "Is that it?!"

Our next stop was within walking distance, but we moved the car because it had our picnic and towels. We stopped at the park restrooms, then loaded into the car to change into swimsuits and sandals so the kids could enjoy the splash park. In line with our mostly-perfect morning, just as the kids finished dressing, two more minivans showed up, but they were our friends. With eleven kids ages 5 to 9, everyone had several playmates, and we mostly had the entire playground and splash park to ourselves. The kids splashed a bit, but they mostly built forts and played army, had teams that changed every hour or so, took prisoners, played house, climbed the rope web, raced to the slide, found logs and stones to change the forts, and did all the things kids are supposed to get to do all the time (at least that's how I remember spending all my summers). There were a couple tears when someone tripped, and the three of us adults were interrupted several times with questions about lunchtime, but otherwise, our kids played well for nearly four hours. After lunchtime and more playtime, we all headed home.

The kids changed into dry clothes and sat outside enjoying popsicles. I was afraid they might be tired of being outside, but with a high in the upper eighties (quite a treat for mid-August in Texas) they stayed out until I called them in. I spied them laying in the grass sucking the popsicle juice while they watched clouds. I saw them working together to get the swing really high. Ben caught a big black cricket and was watching it. Maddie was sitting on the window of the playhouse, kicking her purple sandals while she leaned on the wood and watched her brothers.

When Allen and I were talking about the kids practicing some acts of kindness this week, he suggested I get the sale-deal the local grocery store was running -- if I purchased a large box of single-serving chips (lunchbox-sized bags), I would get a bunch of other lunch-type stuff free (bundles of bottles of water and Gatorade and boxes of cookies and granola bars). The kiddos helped me carry the treats to the car, and they were excited to ring to doorbell at the fire station. When the fireman answered, the kids gleefully exclaimed, "We brought you treats!" Strangely, it reminded me of a backwards trick-or-treat. The firemen gave them a really quick tour of a fire-engine, then we were off again.

We had a 3:00 meeting at Will's new school so he could pick up his iPad for the year. He was beyond thrilled to get the high-tech gadget that will be one of his main tools for school this year. But, I popped his bubble when I said he couldn't play with it until later. We got home, I crashed. I don't understand why the kids didn't want to rest, but they should sleep REALLY well tonight.

Tomorrow is another super-busy day that we will start really early. I think the high is supposed to be 87-degrees, so it should be another gorgeous day to be outside.

Potty humor

Will: Who wants to see a moon?
Ben: You're just gonna show us Uranus
...

and it does NOT help that we learned at the planetarium that Uranus is considered one of the four "gas giants."

Patience, please

I really want to update the blog. I have great photos that we've taken over the last month that I am excited to share, but I can't yet. I've reached my limit on photos and there isn't a fast fix to make room for new on Blogger. It will take me a while to make room for new photos because I need to go back to the first few years of blog posts and delete photos... one by one... quite the headache. Please be patient with me. School starts in two weeks, so I should soon have a few minutes to work on it. Until then, you can imagine what we have been doing: more zoo camp, kid-time at Gramma's and Granddad's, a mini-vacation with Allen and friends in New Braunfels, a family reunion in California, getting ready for school and buying LOTS of school supplies, Innovation Camp (for school) for Will and me, enjoying Allen's two and half weeks off from work, and more.

PS - if you know of a faster fix, please let me know! I don't really want to start a new one.