Jon's Opinion on Thursday

Some days -- and it always seems to be when Allen is out of town or on turn-around -- something happens that changes the way I've been seeing things. I knew we needed to keep options in mind for Ben and school, but I didn't see today's conversation coming. Today, Jon got in the car really upset, but as he told me on the way home about why, I figured we needed to chat without the other three sets of ears.

"I hate school. Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!"

Why?

"Its too boring! and I keep getting in trouble."

... (later)...

Let's talk about what is boring to you.

"Everything."

Spanish?

"No"

Theater?

"Yes"

PE?

"Sometimes"

Library?

"Usually"

Mrs. Sharp's class? (that is his main class - math, reading, handwriting, etc.) 

"Yes! yes! yes! two and a half HOURS of not allowed to talk or move is horrible! I hate it!"

Do you like Mrs. Sharp?

"She's okay."

Is she mean?

"Not really"

Then it came down to HIM saying this kind of stuff... it all exploded from him. "If I just stayed home you could teach me everything I learn in seven hours, but we could do it fast because I hate waiting for the rest of the class. They are all so SO slow." 

But, Jon, I don't do theater. (Before today, I thought he liked theater.)

"Well. I might miss it, but not much. We would still do library and art and we could learn Spanish together, right? And if we did it fast I could play all afternoon doing whatever I want and not having to sit still all day. I hate it! I hate Cumberland Academy!"

So... he missed one of the phonics questions, he got an answer wrong on a reading test (you can tell he was hurrying to get it done), and he spoke out of turn just once today... maybe it was a bad day because of those three things. But when he was speaking so clearly what a six-year old shouldn't know to say, I felt like that was my "get your ducks in a row" message. I've been on the brink of tears ever since then because the selfish part of me isn't wanting to give up my four mornings a week... but the mom in me doesn't like seeing a whole month of my kids' lives wasted on stuff they mastered before the were in PreK. I don't like seeing Jon hating school when he has always loved it. It was like seeing everything we went through with Will about to replay, but with a little angel named Experience on my shoulder showing me what I didn't know then.