Running for Office?

*** BEEP! BEEP *** Now that I have your attention . . . this is a story written by ALLEN!!

Will’s disciplinary plan at school uses a “Green-Yellow-Red” system for behavior. They start the day on Green and if they misbehave they get moved up the scale. On the day we had a parent-teacher-principal conference concerning his behavior, he got moved from Green to Yellow. He also didn’t get a “Token” – a special achievement the teacher said she’d begun using for Will and Nathaniel (another boy in Will’s class who’s [apparently] needed some emphasis on following rules).
Our practice at dinner has been to discuss with Will what he’s done during the day – what work he’s had, letters learned, books read, etc. and then move on to his behavior. The conversation moves along pleasantly that day, until we come to the behavior part.

Me – “How was your behavior today, Will? Did you get your token?”
Will – (reluctantly,) “I got on both Green and Yellow today.”
Which was it? Green or Yellow?
Both.
(realizing that this won’t go much further) And what about your token?
That’s a long story. We don't need to talk about it now.
I have time.
No. It’s a really long story. I don’t know if you want to hear it.
Son, I want to know why you didn’t get your token so I can help you understand how to make better choices.
OK. If you’re sure. The first part – do you know the story about the tortoise and the hare?
Yes, I know it.
About how slow and steady wins the race, but fast and not steady doesn’t come in first? But it seems like fast and steady could win, but that's another story.
Yes.
How the hare is fast and the turtle is steady and that’s why he doesn’t get behind?
Yes. Is this why you didn’t get your token?
No. OK. Part two – now the tortoise and the hare were having a race. And the tortoise went slow and steady and he won the race but the hare didn’t.
I see. Part three? What happened with your token?
OK part three. See Nathaniel and I were doing letters and he was going slow and writing too small and I was writing fast and scribbling and that’s why he didn’t get his token.
OK. Why didn’t you get your token? Is it because you were scribbling?
NO I said “me” not “he.” ME was going slow and steady.
So is that why you didn’t get your token? Were you not following directions?
OK part four – See he was writing too big on his paper and scribbling and that’s why he didn’t get his token. I was doing it and the teacher said that’s why I couldn’t have his token.
What’s Nathaniel’s writing have to do with your token?
Part five – he was writing fast and scribbling and I was doing it too small and that’s why.
So you were writing small? I thought he was writing small.
No. I said “he” not “me.” He didn’t get his token because he was writing small.
So you were scribbling?
No. I said “me” not “he.” Why are you getting so confused? Are you ready for part six? I'm on six, now, right?
Yes, Will. Why didn’t you get your token?
He didn’t get a token because Nathaniel wasn’t doing it right.
Doing what? Were you not following directions?
No, see, Daddy. In part seven I’ll explain it to you.

And that’s why he didn’t get his token that day. He never really changes the subject, but is already a master at deflecting juuuuust enough that he’s sliding out of it. I think he has a career in the Senate ahead of him. Lord help us all.