Still keeping it together

Monday morning I made a list of everything going on in our family until Thanksgiving Day next week. The list was long:

• Psychologist appointment with Will, Allen, and me (still trying to figure out how to make school a positive experience)
• Hair cut for me
• Cub Scout meeting
• Dinner with my girlfriends (These keep me sane when our schedule is like this)
• MOPS meeting
• Preschool Thanksgiving feast
• Jon's allergy testing
• Jon's well-kid check-up
• Shopping for jeans for Ben and Jon (all 12 or 14 pair have ugly holes)
• Family Christmas card photo shoot
• Take little kids (and me) to the Kaisers'
• Ben's appointment with pediatric orthopedist in Dallas
• Will's Thanksgiving program at school (at the same time as Ben's appointment)
• Cub Scout pack meeting
• Surgery to remove my wisdom teeth
• Back to Kaiser's for Thanksgiving weekend

My list is exhaustING, but not exhaustIVE -- on my big list, I didn't include the normal activities like laundry, trips to the grocery store, picking up kids from school and lots more. Somehow, I am feeling the peace, though. Sunday, we did everything we could think of that would make life run more smoothly. We made lunches to two weeks, made a menu that included several meals from the freezer that have already been prepared, did all the laundry, decluttered the kitchen, and tried to just relax with a good book.

Earlier this week, I made a rare stop at the mall to pick up some jeans for Ben and Jon. I went in Old Navy and picked some out that I hoped would work. When I put them on the boys later, they were way too big. My only option was to take my kids to the mall and have them try them on. I hoped to do that Wednesday afternoon, but the kids were bouncing off the walls, and I wasn't going to attempt that on my own (yes -- I COULD do it, but it was likely I would get really frustrated.) Allen and I took all the kids to the mall last night. It is rare that I go to the mall, and even rarer that kids go with us. When we got there, Jon and Ben asked to see Santa. I explained that we were there for jeans and that Santa probably wasn't even there. Maddie and Jon tried convincing us that EVERY time we go to the mall, we see Santa because that's where he lives. Ben told them that Santa lived at the North Pole, and we continued to walk. Seconds after that conversation, who should appear? Santa spotted them and came to greet them. I might have snapped a picture of their joy, but two of them were in shorts and sandals and, even WITH Santa, it didn't feel Christmassy enough. That made their day, and now they are all back to believing that Santa lives there.

This morning, Maddie reminded me about the Thanksgiving program at the preschool. She was so excited that the moms and dads get to come listen to them sing, and I broke her heart when I told her I couldn't be there. As big tears ran down her face, her big brown eyes looked at me with confusion. I have always come to their programs and she raised her voice in protest, "Mama! All the moms HAVE to come hear us. You don't get to decide. You HAVE to come... Ms. Peggy said so." I tried rationally explaining that Jon had an appointment at the same time and that I would love to hear her sing, but after a few attempts, I realized I can't rationalize with a heart-broken five year old. I am so sorry I can't be there, maybe not so much for the songs, but for the confidence it gives my kids to see mom out in the pews beaming at them.

After the kids finished breakfast, I assembled the "fruit tray" I signed up to bring for the preschool Thanksgiving feast, and as the turkey took shape, excitement filled her face again. Jon understands he is hanging out with me all day as we go from one doctor to another. When Ben heard I wouldn't be at the show, he shrugged and went back to running through the house gobbling like a turkey. Now I have a moment to sit with my coffee before we are off and running for the day. I am grabbing peace and quiet every chance I can just trying to keep from getting overwhelmed. So far, so good....