Will They See Jesus In Me?

Right now, I am desperately searching for a bit of peace in God's Word. Two hours ago, I picked up the triplets from Mothers Day Out. Since they were up before six and had shortened naps, the hour between getting them and waiting for Will was long -- full of disobedience, defiance, whining, crying, tantrums, and my yelling to be heard. When we got home, I opened the windows, put all four loud kids outside on this beautiful day and I sat with my Bible and coffee at the kitchen table. A song I heard on the radio is playing in my head, but I only know one line, and that I keep singing: "Will they see Jesus in me? Will they see Jesus?" As I hit replay on the last few hours I'm afraid the only attribute that even came close to Jesus was me flipping out like He flipped the tables at the temple, and I know that doesn't count. I am to learn from and model Jesus and He reminds me here in these verses that He is gentle.

• To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. I Peter 2:21


• (Jesus said) "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29

Lately, I've struggled with days -- partly health and hormones, but the whining, crying, and defiance pushes me to the edge. I say things I can't UNsay, and I do things I can't UNdo. I am ashamed and amazed that I can be so ugly to the ones I love so much.


I went and looked up the lyrics to the tune still playing in my head. It is my prayer for this time in my life: And most of all I pray my family sees Jesus in me.

Do They See Jesus In Me? (by Joy Williams)

Is the face that I see in the mirror
The one I want others to see?
Do I show in the way that I walk in my life
The love that You've given to me?
My heart's desire is to be like You
In all that I do, all I am

Do they see Jesus In Me?
Do they recognize Your face?
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace?
Do I reflect who You are In the way I choose to be?
Do they see Jesus In Me?

It's amazing that you'd ever use me
But use me the way You will.
Help me to hold out a heart of compassionate grace
A heart that You're spirit fills.
May I show forgiveness and mercy
The same way You've shown it to me.

Now I want to show all the world who You are:
The reason I live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me.

Do they see Jesus In Me?
Do they recognize Your face?
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace?
Do I reflect who You are In the way I choose to be?
Do they see Jesus In Me?

Journal entry Nov. 11, 2009