The Three Are Two

It is so hard to believe that two years ago our family doubled. Time has flown -- what is the saying? "Long days, quick years." That is a great summary. On October 16th, 2006, I went to the hospital for a non-stress test knowing I wouldn't be home until after I delivered the triplets. Little did I know, though, that they would come so quickly. After spending about 30 hours trying to stop my labor, the doc decided to do the c-section. The babies were 29 weeks gestationally (full-term is 40 weeks), but we knew they'd be early. At 11:02 pm, Benjamin Clay entered our world weighing a whopping 3 pounds. At 11:03 pm, Madeline Alivia was born weighing 2 pounds, 15 ounces. A minute later, Jonathan Rand was born at 2 pounds, 11 ounces. They were three months early and very small, but otherwise they were healthy. In the delivery room were my doctor, anesthesiologist, and nurse, and a pediatric team of about three PER BABY. Allen was next to me, too, but I just remember seeing the blur of busy people as they took care of Ben, Maddie, Jon, and me. The nurses whisked them away quickly, but as they passed me, they showed me each of my children. The last one let me kiss the top of Jon's head before she left, but other than that one time, it was almost a month before any of them were kissed.

Wow -- it was two years ago? I stayed in the hospital a week, and leaving was the hardest and bravest thing I've done in my entire life. I had a two-year old at home 100 miles away who needed a mama, but I also had three preemies who were so fragile that it broke my heart to leave. I was a basket case, to say the least. I remember spending a day and a half crying except when I was asleep -- thankfully, my pain meds got me to sleep often. I took Will to the sitter those few days because he didn't understand why mama was so sad. I know part of it was the hormone roller coaster, but a lot of it was that I was the only one in the maternity ward going to the curb in a wheelchair without a baby. Not only that, but I hadn't even been able to hold them yet. They were about 3 weeks old before we were allowed to hold them; their skin was so delicate that Allen and I were only supposed to touch their heads or feet, but not caress them at all. That was so hard when all I wanted to do was cuddle my precious babies. Attachment didn't come as naturally as with Will. When we found out what a high-risk the pregnancy was, I didn't want to get too attached, just in case I lost any or all of them. When friends wanted to have a baby shower I was hesitant -- I didn't want to come home to three of everything if I couldn't come home with three babies. When they arrived, I was still afraid to fall in love, there were just too many things that could happen to break my heart. God knew what He was doing when he gave me these three, but I did often wonder what he was thinking. Although I distanced myself, it didn't take long to fall, head over heals, in love with Ben, Maddie, and Jon.

We were told not to expect to take them home before their due date, January 2nd, but Maddie came home on December 29th. Ben came home on January 8th, and Jon on January 18th, just after they were 3 months old. A lot of people said "at least they didn't come all at once," but I disagree. As hard as it would've been to adjust to life with three babies at home, what was harder was delivering milk (I pumped for 6 months) to a hospital 100 miles away while staying home with the other kids. Even harder was that we were hit by a lot of snow. After Maddie came home, we went to see the boys once, then returned to get Ben, then the car was buried in snow and the roads untravelable until I called the hospital to say, "We cleared the driveway, I'm coming to get Jon." It was a rough couple of months, and it is easier now in some ways, more difficult in others.

It was imperative that we fed them on a schedule just to get the weights caught up to where they should be, so we spent most of our time feeding them -- so it seemed. Here is how a day at home went when I was on my own:

00:00 - 00:30 - Change Ben, Feed Ben, Burp Ben

00:30 - 01:05 - Change Maddie, Feed Maddie, Burp Maddie

01:05 - 01:50 - Change Jon, Feed Jon, Burp Jon (he was the slow feeder)

01:50 - 02:00 - Clean bottles, use potty, get a glass of water

02:00 - 03:00 - go back to bed, skip pumping . . . too tired

03:00 - 05:00 - repeat above

05:00 - 06:00 - snooze for just a few minutes more

06:00 - 08:00 - repeat above

08:00 - 08:45 - get Will and me some breakfast, get Will dressed (Allen took him to the sitter, or a friend would come sit with the babies so I could take him. If a friend was here to help, the next feeding went faster since we could feed two at once.) Pump while I eat.

08:45 - 09:00 - take a shower if on schedule or finish pumping.

09:00 - 11:00 - feed and change

11:00 - 11:30 - pump and eat lunch

11:30 - 12:00 - nap if the babies are still sleeping

12:00 - 14:00 - feed and change

14:00 - 14:30 - pump

14:30 - 14:45 - put the laundry in the wash, start the dishwasher

15:00 . . . .here we go again

It was like that all day long -- the babies were on a very consistent and predictable three hour cycle. Each day, I had at least one load of just baby laundry -- lots of burp cloths. Once we all were home and found our routine, Allen would take one of the nighttime feedings so I could get a 4-hour nap. Sometimes, he would get up with me so I could pump while he fed the babies, or we would both feed them to get done a little sooner. I still don't know how he worked all day with so little sleep.

We've had our survival-mileposts. When we hit each one, things got a little easier: when we could feed two (then three) at the same time, when they slept for 8-hours at a time, when they could hold their own bottles, when they could sit up, when they crawled, when they climbed stairs, when they could walk, when they could come down the stairs, when they could feed themselves, when they were out of the carrier-carseats. A typical day now, at age two, is not nearly as consistent as when they first came home but is something like this:

07:30 wake up and chatter to each other

08:00 get out of bed, get dressed, eat breakfast

09:00 run errands and playtime

12:00 lunchtime

13:00 naptime

15:00 playtime and snack

18:00 dinner

19:00 bedtime

When we run errands, they each get their shoes and socks and sit on the steps to put them on or wait for me to do it. When they walk to the van, I put them in and they each climb in their own seat and try to buckle themselves in. It still takes awhile to get out of the driveway, but it is so much easier than it was. On the way to wherever we are going, Jon takes off his shoes and puts them on the other feet, Ben takes off his socks and wears them on his hands, and Maddie plays with the velcro, but usually keeps her shoes on. When we are out and about they mind and are [usually] well-behaved, staying near me or in the wagon and sitting down to wait for the others. At home they play well -- sometimes with each other or Will, sometimes by themselves. Life is do-able now that were aren't just in survival mode, and frankly, it is [usually] a lot of fun. Nothing beats having four kiddos giggling at the same time, or the love Allen and I are showered with when we get home and find all of them shouting our names and so happy to see us. I love the kisses and hugs, too. I remember worrying, when the triplets were in the hospital, if they would know I loved them since I couldn't even hold them, but I am past that now. I KNOW they know they are loved. We had a lot of prayers said for these three when I was pregnant with them, when they were first born, the three months in the hospital, and the prayers for our family to adjust when they came home. Thank you to all of our friends, family, and friends of family for all the prayers and help over the last two years. We are a very blessed family: for the health of our children, for all the love that was shared with us, and for all the love we have for each other. Yes, I know how lucky we are to have these three miracles in our lives and thier birthday is a great excuse to celebrate.

We are celebrating with a family party tomorrow -- the Cookie Monster cake is driving me crazy, but it sure does taste yummy (I had to sample it.) I managed to snap a few pictures of my two-year olds this morning, and I tried to get them to hold the baby doll that is the same size they were when they were born, but Jon was the only one willing to do that. Look how far they've come!