How can feelings between brothers change so quickly? Yesterday afternoon, after the kids didn't nap (but were supposed to) Jon, Will, and Maddie came downstairs and watched hockey with Allen. Some time went by and we wondered where Ben was. It is not uncommon for one of our kids to stay upstairs getting some alone time while the other three are off playing together, so we were not too worried. Allen asked the other three what Ben was doing and Jon said, "He's probably just playing." The alarm word was "probably" since that meant he was not too sure. I went upstairs to check on Ben, and all I could hear was faint crying. I started searching, and when I opened Maddie's bedroom door, I heard him a bit louder, but still muffled. Then I saw the drawers of the dresser were open, and Ben was sobbing inside. It turns out Jon put Ben in Maddie's bottom drawer of her dresser, but in reality, Ben had to have climbed in. Then Jon opened the drawer above it and trapped Ben in. Jon left the room, closed the door, and came downstairs as if nothing was wrong. Ben was pretty upset with Jon, but otherwise, he seemed fine.
This morning, Jon acted completely differently toward Ben.... Ben had been having tantrums and causing trouble. One of his fits was directed toward Jon and he spit out lots of mean words, ending with, "You are stupid!" The S-word isn't allowed in our home, so I put some dish soap on my finger and put it on Ben's tongue, explaining I was washing the naughty words out. Ben hated that and sat and cried and cried that I was killing him and he would soon die. I hugged him and told him I loved him, but that I wasn't allowing those words. Jon sat next to Ben and tried comforting him by rubbing his back. Then, Jon marched over to me and said, "Mama, I'm angry that you are being mean to my brother. You shouldn't do that to my brother." I explained to Jon that discipline was part of my job and that Ben was using bad words. Jon went back to rubbing Ben's back. When things calmed down a bit, I playfully asked Jon if he had gotten his Good Morning hugs and kisses yet. He frowned at me and calmly explained, "I can wait. Why don't you give my hugs and kisses to Ben right now. I think he needs it more."
After everything was back to normal, Ben was still pouting. Then he said something to Maddie and Jon, and they all started laughing and cheering. I asked what the commotion was about and the three excitedly told me that Ben had his words back! They seemed to think I washed all words out of his mouth, and they were thrilled he could talk again. Maddie and Jon have stuck right by Ben since then, and I know I am the outsider. I suppose I should get used to it, though. For now I will just be happy that those brothers really do love each other, they just have different ways of showing it.
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