Dreary Day

Today it is cold and cloudy. The kind of day I like to grab a cup of cocoa, a warm blanket, and a long book to curl up and stay warm. I am guessing my three youngest feel the same way since it is almost 10 am and I haven't heard them stirring yet. Usually they are up around 7, so this is a late morning for them. Will was up before Allen left and I overheard them talking while I tried to grab a few more winks. I heard, "Daddy, when you are at the refinery it frightens me when there is a fire." I lost count of how many times Will said "frighten" -- it amazes me that that is his word of choice since I don't think I use it often.

As for the accident, it just sickens me. One of the men died. I am nauseaous thinking about Allen being there, but so thankful he is okay. Having been in a similar environment when I had a career, I understand the hazards, but I also feel like I know these men who I had never actually met. I supposed part of the sickening feeling is that it could have been to Allen (or to me in a different time and place) that this catastrophe happened. The days have been long here at home. I have always known Allen helps a lot, but sometimes, when he is working long hours, it reminds me just how much I depend on him to keep me sane. By the end of the day, the kids are ready for bed and especially cranky -- but so am I. With two adults, it's so much easier. I am overwhelmed, but partly because I feel like my "problems" are petty compared to what some people are dealing with now. Yes, I wish Allen could be here to help with the kids, to give me an extra couple of hugs on the rough days, to sit and eat with us, but at least I know he WILL be home. Someone's husband won't be and it breaks my heart.

Allen is working long hours. They are still trying to figure out what went wrong that caused the explosion, and he is part of the team trying to purge the lines to shut down the refinery. Eventually he will be working to get the refinery back up and going, and this all takes time. I decided to head to my parents for awhile -- they will be able to help me with the kiddos and Allen won't have the added stress of having to rush home to help around the house. I wish I could be here to encourage and support him, but I know I can do some of that on the phone. Now I am just hoping he can join us for Thanksgiving. . .

Hehehe -- I KNEW if I sat down to blog the kids would wake up. I am actually really glad they are awake. Even though they are two-years old, when they sleep this much later than normal, I still fear the worst. I struggle with whether to let them rest or to wake them to make sure they are okay. Even with Will, those mommy-thoughts go through my mind. I really thought when we got past age 1 I'd get over that. Now I'm off to get the kids dressed, fed, and packed. . . .well, maybe it's an all-day-PJ-day. Have a great weekend!