A Pile of Stones

You know that Perfect Book . . . the one with all the stories, all the advice, all the answers? You know when people joke about there not being an instruction manual for raising kids? Truthfully, there IS that book in my home (more like 20 of them) -- its our Bible. I go through waves with that Perfect Book. I'm excited to be reading it and studying it one month, but the next month it is a struggle to open it without interruptions. Thankfully I have those few times a year that re-center me with my Bible. I'm excited that tomorrow is the start of one of "those" seasons, as I start the spring ladies Bible study. Last fall, I was involved in a study that, although it didn't get as deep as I would have liked, introduced me to a deeper way of studying my Bible. After that was over, two of my friends and I started poring over I Peter. I enjoyed it, I learned from it, and my actions inspired my kids to read their Bibles (or at least talk about the pictures.) And that's what I want!

Many stories in the Bible talk about the piles of rocks that the Jews would create so that years later, other generations would ask about the stones, and the stories would be retold. Like a headstone over a grave, some stones are used as reminders. When I was in Girl Scouts, we learned about marking trails. Some of the signs were made of piles of stones, or cairns -- they showed the way to go. I need to share with them the stories of God's miracles for me (and not just the birth stories.) I need to tell them the ways to go, or at least help them find a way of discovering the path for themselves. I need to make some rock-piles for my children.

I've thought about scrapbooking my spiritual journey, but since I can't even make time to print birthday pictures, I am afraid this would be another unfinished project. I've thought about journaling it; but then it ends up as another thing on my "to-do" list. This blog has served as my scrapbook and journal for two years now, so I think I will just add the spiritual parts, too. After all, my REAL life comprises the scriptures, the snotty-nose days, the overwhelming laundry piles, the laughter, the joy. Why not open up just a little more and share the deeper things too -- they ARE me, after all. So I'm going to do it. I will not share everything, just some that I'd share at Bible study. That way, my children will get to read about the deeper Me and the God I serve that I pray they will know intimately, too.

So, here is the first story. I journaled it in the margin of a book I had been reading back in November, but, to me, the words are timeless -- God speaks, I just have to listen.

Yes, God speaks louder than Dora the Explorer! I sat reading my Bible study, somehow able to focus since the triplets were calm and quiet, mesmerized by the cartoons. Just before I got the the paragraph below, Maddie climbed up and snuggled unto my lap. I hugged her, got us comfy again, then kissed her curly head and smelled the lavender of her shampooed hair. I took a deep breath to refocus on the words and read:

"The feminine trend of self-loathing has robbed us of enjoying God's favor. The self-esteem crisis has reached stunning heights, imposing sanctions on how much we are loved by Christ. It is a tragedy indeed. Imagine if your daughter refused to believe that you loved here, that she had any favor in your eyes. If she wasted away in condemnation and obsessed about past mistakes, resisting the intensity of your love, you would die right along with her spirit." (Hatmaker, Jen. Ms. Understood, 2008)

It brought me to tears -- sobbing tears of sad "what-ifs" and joyful tears for "what is!" As distracted as I could have been with the TV blaring silly songs and the kids tumbling about, it was my daughter, and her interruption that made those words hit my heart.