Fifteen Years of Kisses

September 26, 1993.

I was a high school junior at the Texas Academy of Math & Science, and had been there for just a few weeks. I was still learning which name went with which faces. There was one face that caught my attention a bit more than all the others, and I had no trouble remembering his name was Allen. We were both members of the environmental club and we had done a service project building trails at a nature center that weekend. I got to know Allen a little bit on that outing. That evening there was a dance at the dorm -- the kind set up by the older students so everyone could meet each other before we got further into the school year. I danced with Allen and he kissed me the first time that night.

Here it is fifteen years after that first kiss, and his kisses still can give me goosebumps. Through the crazy turns of life, we have stuck together, side by side. After dating for several years, we got engaged in 1997, and married in September 1999. That 11th grade romance has come a long way -- 2 high school graduations, 3 college diplomas, 6 cities, countless apartments and dorm rooms, 3 homes, 3 cars, 4 pets, 3 fake Christmas trees, travel to 22 states and 5 foreign countries. Some of our biggest challenges have been presented by the best things to happen to us: our 4 beautiful children.

Allen has been the apple of my eye for almost half my life. Some days it seems like it hasn't been that long, other days it feels like it's been longer. He is, without a doubt, my very best friend. Although we've had our rough moments, I still feel like I'm living in a romantic fairy tale -- with the happily ever after. He is my dream come true, and I hope one day my children each find someone to love them as much Allen and I love each other.

Allen, I love you. Thanks for more than 15,000 kisses!

Dagnabit

Yesterday, Will was watching the Backyardigans on TV while I was feeding the babies breakfast. One of the characters said "dagnabit" a few times and each time Will got an odd look on his face. During the next commercial he asked, "Mama? What is 'dagnabit'?" I answered that it was just an expression kind of like "darn" or "ah, shucks!" He seemed content with my answer and went back to watching the show. I think the character must have said it again, because I kept hearing it. After the show was over, Will came to me and asked me, having thought about the issue quite seriously, "Mama, why do they say 'dagnabit' when they really mean to say 'dammit'?" I took a deep breath so I wouldn't laugh and said, "Honey, I'm sure their mamas told them not to talk like that."

Also this week, we had another new vocabulary word for Jon, and Maddie and Ben quickly picked up the pronounciation, but they are using it more for laughs. Jon, however, has learned to frown really hard, stare into your eyes, and sternly say "NOoo!" It isn't really two sylables, but it gets drawn out longer the more he means it. It is quite funny because he sounds like an adult saying it, but he is clearly just a little kid. If we take his food away because he was playing, "NOoo!" If Ben takes away the book Jon was reading, "NOoo!" If Maddie pokes him or leans in to bite, "NOoooooo!" If Allen takes his toothbrush away and he isn't ready to give it up, "NOooo!" If I tell him it's time for a new diaper and put him up on the changing table, "NOooo!" and he swatted my hand!

Since we're on the subject of defiant toddlers, here's a followup on some previous stories. . .

Diapers: Jon and Ben take their diapers off when they are bored. We started putting pajama pants on them under the other outfits and that worked for awhile. Then they learned to unsnap and take off all their clothes. Last week, I found a huge mess when Jon took it all off then tore it all to shreds. Mom called me and suggested I tape the diapers so the boys couldn't take them off. So I did.

Day 1 went okay.

Day 2: somehow one of the pieces of tape twisted a little so the sticky part got caught on the inside of his (I forget whose?) shirt. I noticed a funky kid dance happening and realized he (was it Ben?) figured out how to wiggle enough that the tape turned inside out, stuck to his shirt, and came off the diaper.

Day 3: I learned the only way to keep the tape from getting loose was to wrap it all the way around the baby's waist so the tape-end was stuck on tape rather than the diaper. First, I taped Jon. I started by somewhat centering the long strip over the diaper tabs and smoothing it down. Then I turned him on his side so I could wrap one end to the back. Then turned him the other way to get the other end down. It worked great! Jon had been easy to get along with for that, so I was happy -- this would be easy.

Next, I changed Ben and tore off the 18-20 inches of packing tape for his diaper. If you haven't met Ben, you need to know he is only still if he is asleep. I centered the tape and smoothed it over the frount tabs. I tried turning him to his side, but he thought I was tickling him and he giggled and squirmed. When I got him calm again, I decided I'd try to put him on his tummy and do both sides at once. When I picked him up, the changing pad came with him -- I had taped my kid to the changing table. I tried to make that tape work by taking the changing pad off the tape, but the other end stuck to his clothes. By the time I got it all straightened out, half was twisted and the other half was no longer sticky. I got another strip of tape and tried again -- somehow, we finally got it on.

Sunday, Allen went to get the kids up from their naps and Ben was laying on his blanket . . .on the floor . . . and from the look of his face, he landed on it. He broke out of the tent. I put Jon in the crib Ben got out of, and put Ben in Jon's bed. No one has gotten out yet. I am hoping this holds them for a little longer. I am not ready to deal with keeping more kids in real beds yet.

It's been a busy week so far. Sunday we met friends from college at the East Texas Arboretum and had a great time watching all the kids play. We even survived a short hike through the woods with everyone walking (most of the way, at least.) We introduced Will to letterboxing and he thought it was cool to hunt treasures like a pirate. It took some explaining when he wondered where the gold was, though. I have no idea what happened Monday (there wasn't one this week, anyway, right?) Tuesday was a school-day for Will, the babies stayed in the church nursery while I went to Bible study, then we had lunch with Allen, and went to a store before getting Will from school. Today is one of the two days a month I take the babies to a mother's-day-out program. Will and I try to do fun things that are more challenging for me to do with all four kids.

Today, we met a friend at the "science touch-museum," as Will has dubbed it. We enjoyed it so much this summer, that this time, I just bought the family membership -- I know we'll get our money's worth and I like knowing the money will be used to help teach the kids about science. The kids played for about three hours till we called it quits and went for lunch. I picked up the Maddie, Ben & Jon and now all four kids are sound asleep for a little while anyway.

Tomorrow is another school day for Will, but I plan to come home for the day. I have laundry to do and bags to pack for the weekend. Allen and the kids are going to his parents' while I go up to Kansas for a crop at Chasing Rainbows. I haven't scrapped for months, but I am excited to get to see everyone I've missed. Starting now, for the next fifteen minutes I am going to go shut my eyes.

3:29am - The sweet extras

It bugs me when I can't get back to sleep. Few things are as frustrating to this tired mama as having a time set aside just for sleeping (we call it night in our home) yet not being able to get there.

Maddie woke up around 2:00am crying and with a little bit of a fever. I wiped her down with a washcloth, gave her some Tylenol, and cuddled her for about an hour. I laid her back down which woke the little boys. Jon stirred a little, his eyes open, but otherwise still undisturbed. Ben looked up at me in the dark, so I leaned close to the tent to say good night. It was so sweet -- he leaned against the mesh to kiss me. When I left the room all of them were laying down and quiet. I started to close the door and Ben shouted "NIGHT-NIGHT!" As kind as it was, the shouting jolted Jon and I listened to his wailing and rocking over the monitor for fifteen very, v e r y long minutes. I laid in bed awhile longer then gave up trying to sleep. This is about how last night went, too. Maddie didn't get feverish until yesterday afternoon, but she still woke up crying a lot. I hope it is just her teeth coming in and that she isn't getting sick -- we all just got over the first-fall colds that hit and I'm not anxious for a repeat, especially if it means sleepless nights.

Just a quick sweet story then I'll try to sleep again: This morning -- oops, I mean yesterday morning, I was holding Maddie after breakfast. She was still cranky and not feeling well, and I was trying to make her feel cozy and loved. As she sobbed off and on, Ben came over to her, gently patted her leg, and gave her a favorite baby doll -- the one that usually stops the tears. This was no coincidence; it was an intentional and simply sweet act of kindness from a not-quite-two-year-old to his sibling, and it made my heart skip a beat. Not even ten minutes later, I was again humbled by a toddler's compassion when Jon lovingly brought her sippy-cup to her. Both boys were trying to make Maddie feel better. These two acts of love, so close together, made me realize how lucky they are to have each other, but also how fast time is rushing by. All four of our little ones are getting older, bigger, and wiser and I am not always ready to let that happen.

In a few years, they probably won't wake me in the middle of the night to deal with a stuffy nose, but by then, I will have lost sleep the first half the night waiting for them to get home from a date. Oh well, such is parenthood.

Although I might be a little groggier and need an extra cup of coffee later, I really do treasure the midnight moments when my little ones are not quite awake, so very willing to cuddle. The pale light of the moon makes little cheeks glow just enough I can see if their eyes are open or shut, and I don't have the healthy kids competing for my attention. Tonight was Maddie's night. I said some extra prayers for her, I gave her lots of extra lovins (as Will says), and I was simply amazed by her beauty. Thank you, God, for the extras you gave me tonight -- please let me sleep a little more before everyone wakes up for real.

Photo Challenge: CHANGING SEASONS

It is Photo Challenge time again and the theme this week is Changing Seasons. As I mentioned before, I use the challenges, not necessarily to take new pictures, but to have fun going through my older ones.

Changing seasons. . . I have always loved this time of year -- the "in-between" season, not quite summer, not yet fall. If only I was able to I would bottle the smells of September with the freshly-mowed grass from summer mixing with the crunchy, colorful leaves of fall, the morning dew, and all of it so much fresher just because the air is crisp. I can't decide whether to light the berry-scented candles or go with the cinnamon scents, so I often light both and that adds another unique autumn-scent to our environment. For my "obvious" picture, here is one I took a few weeks ago on our trip to New England. There were some leaves starting to change for fall, but we were there at the end of summer, so we enjoyed the colors of the wildflowers, too.

Another change of seasons for our family is represented in this photo.

Know what that is? That is MY view of my tummy when I was 4 - yes, FOUR - months pregnant with the triplets. Allen insisted my feet were attached, but I never saw any proof. The seasons were changing then, all right. We were on our way from being a family of 3 to doubling that to 6. Will was on his way from being an only child to being a big brother. Many events happened just before I delivered the babies that represented change of season, but the most difficult was that my grandmother passed away. Because I had such a high-risk pregnancy, I couldn't travel, I couldn't see her that one last time, I couldn't be at the funeral. And just like seasons, . . . one left as another came to be.

This time of year, I sleep well and have a little more bounce to my step. I enjoy the lazy weekends when I can grab a book and cuddle with my family. I am excited to see the apples, squashes, and pumpkins taking over the produce section. I like to watch the leaves change color and float to the ground when the breeze catches them.

For now, I take pleasure in the little things of this "in-between" season: delighting in nature's symphony of scents, sights, and flavors; cherishing the memories I have of loved ones; and experiencing the joy of family.

Maple-Dijon Vinaigrette

I've experimented and come up with a tasty salad dressing. The recipe was created by me but inspired by the dressing we had at Stone Mountain Art Center in Brownsfield, Maine.

1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/3 cup maple syrup (use real maple syrup even though it costs more than the maple-flavored syrup)
4 Tablespoons white wine vinegar
1 1/2 Tablespoons dijon mustard
1 green onion - minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper (use black pepper if you don't already have white)

I put all the ingredients in a bottle and shook it until it was well blended. I have no idea how long it will last in the fridge. . . ours will last about two salad nights. We had it over the following:

bag salad - pick your favorite, we like the baby greens or spring salad
tomatoes - diced
onion - sliced
cucumber - diced
carrots - cut to matchstick size
pineapple - chunks (since I had them leftover and needing to be eaten)
dried cranberries
dried blueberries
walnuts

sunflower seeds

blue cheese crumbles (since it can't ALL be healthy AND still taste great)
chicken - I had some baked that we cut into strips and put on top of the fruit and veggies.

It was not the exact salad we had at the theater, but it made for a great meal. There is something about the different textures -- crunchy seed and nuts, chewy dried fruit, crispy veggies, soft tomatoes and cheese -- that just works with the sweet but tangy dressing. Let me know if you like it or if you find a way to improve it.

Where the wild things are

Guess what? I won something!! This doesn't happen too often now since I don't like having to put my email or snail mail or phone number out there for marketers to call, but this time I did. A friend from high school has a blog called "Traveling with Baby." I have it linked on my side bar and check it periodically for her family updates, but also for her baby product reviews. A few weeks ago, I left a comment and that put me in a drawing for a Scholastic DVD -- miraculously I won it, and my kids have all enjoyed watching Where the Wild Things Are.

Right now she has another drawing for this great DVD on her blog. If you have kids (or even grandkids), go over and enter. While you are there, you might discover some neat products that she has reviewed.

Discipline

I told Will it was time to rest -- he didn't have to sleep, in fact, he could read quietly.
It is a struggle to get him to be quiet and stay in his room.

Will just said "I HATE you!!" to me.
Then he came back and said softly, "Mommy?"
"Yes, Will?"
"I really, really, really super hate you."

I am deep breathing -- still calm, haven't lost my temper.
Needing love though and I still have an hour to go until Allen heads home.
At least I can count on love from my husband.

Why does discipline have to be so difficult on the parents?
Why do I feel like I am being punished for being firm and steady with my son? I thought Will wasn't supposed to "hate" me for another ten years, but it seems to be a daily practice of his.