I told Will it was time to rest -- he didn't have to sleep, in fact, he could read quietly.
It is a struggle to get him to be quiet and stay in his room.
Will just said "I HATE you!!" to me.
Then he came back and said softly, "Mommy?"
"Yes, Will?"
"I really, really, really super hate you."
I am deep breathing -- still calm, haven't lost my temper.
Needing love though and I still have an hour to go until Allen heads home.
At least I can count on love from my husband.
Why does discipline have to be so difficult on the parents?
Why do I feel like I am being punished for being firm and steady with my son? I thought Will wasn't supposed to "hate" me for another ten years, but it seems to be a daily practice of his.
5 comments:
Hopefully he is just trying out new words to see if they fit the context or what affect they will bring (as in Allen's response to your post on Sept 10th). Hopefully counting the times he has said that he loves you (and I really think he knows the meaning of that word and uses it with the correct intent)will diminish the feeling when he is trying out other words. Your reward for being firm and steady will be multiplied through the years.
Oh he knows what the worde "hate" means. He says he "hates" consequences (when they're bad and he loses priveleges) - so he knows that "hate" means something you really really don't like.
I hope we remember that he doesn't "hate" us personally, but "hates" what we're asking him to do. He can behave well when he chooses to; lately he's choosing not to behave well and it's frustrating. I think he understands why he's getting bad consequences but I don't know if the punishment lesson is sinking in. Hopefully we can find some positive reinforcements soon to get him to see how good choices can lead to good consequences.
This is a problem and every problem is an opportunity. In this case he is using the word hate without understanding any more than it can hurt someone's feelings. Take some one-on-one time to educate him about the relationship, meaning, and examples of the following concepts as they relate to others:
to hate
to dislike
to know
to like
to love
Allen and I have fun trying to guess who "Anonymous" is before we check it against the traffic feed. We are guessing Anon. #1 was Nana, and Anon #2 I am guessing. . . Granddad? Are we right? Are we right?
Yes, annon #1 was Nana. Not that I wish to have my identity hidden, I just haven't set up a "name". I suppose I could initial my comments . . . . .
~SK
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