One night last month, we disciplined 9 year old Will. He was angry about his assigned chores and yelled at me, "You never do anything. You're just a lazy mom who bosses me around!" So.... I took a deep breath and let it be true. He got to finish his chores then do all mine. Fix dinner, refill plates at every other bite, make sure other kids get their stuff done, cut up our food, clean up after dinner, change out loads of laundry, sweep up cat litter, get the plants in from the rain, and clean kitchen -- all in the two hours before bedtime. He also had to listen to me complain that daddy was kicking me under the table and he got to keep the three 6-year old "helpers" from making a mess while they put plates on the table. The only bad parts? Everything was cold, and one of the kids was carrying a plate and the dog licked it... No one could remember which plate it was after they were put on the table.
Allen commented that what pleased him the most about the ordeal was that Will didn't give up on our standard rules. Will got on to Allen for picking up his whole steak on my fork and gnawing on it - Will went and got a knife and even started cutting it. Will made sure everyone ate their dinner before dessert, made a good, balanced dinner and even helped finish off some leftovers. He was stressed, frustrated; he bent but didn't give up or break. He did a good job - didn't serve candy for dinner, didn't let us run wild, and did everything with (maybe not) a smile - but without going completely insane.
By the end, Will understood me a lot more. He was pulling at his hair and begging the kids to go to bed and stay out of the kitchen. Lesson learned? We'll see...but he slept well that night!
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